Are You Making Pearls or Just Getting Irritated? Rev. Tony Cooke

There is a great lesson for us in understanding the formation of pearls.  Natural pearls are formed when a grain of sand or another object slips in between one of the two shells of the oyster.  Because of the irritating nature of the sand, the oyster encapsulates it in layers of “mother of pearl” secretion, and the pearl grows in size as the number of layers increases and the iridescent gem is formed.

So the next time you find yourself in disagreement with someone (or someone in disagreement with you), ask yourself this question: “Am I just getting irritated, or am I making a pearl?”  Wisdom teaches us to benefit from disagreements and to make each incident, no matter how irritating it may seem at first, into a redemptive growth experience.

Heraclitus, the ancient Greek philosopher (his friends just called him Cletus), said: “The unlike is joined together, and from differences results the most beautiful harmony, and all things take place by strife.”  My natural reaction to the word strife is to recoil against it as being evil and undesirable, and there certainly is a toxic form of strife that destroys and injures.  But there is another understanding of this principle that is far less sinister. 

When people with good hearts disagree, but are respectful and teachable, there is a great benefit that occurs.  This is the kind of advantage that is derived from the principle spoken of in Proverbs 27:17 (NLT): “As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.”  I have seen wonderful men clash over a disagreement, but because they kept an open-heart and didn’t write each other off, became best of friends (or resumed a great friendship), and both of them learned and were broadened because of what they learned in working through the disagreement.

George Whitfield had sharp disagreement with John Wesley on the Calvinistic-Arminian issue, and yet when Whitfield was asked (antagonistically) if he thought he would see John Wesley in heaven, Whitfield responded, “I fear not, for he will be so near the eternal throne and we at such a distance, we shall hardly get sight of him.” 

Cultivating the Art of Redemptive Disagreement

I have long been amazed at the graciousness, character, and maturity displayed by Peter after incurring the public rebuke of an angry Apostle Paul.  Paul not only corrected Peter in front of the congregation in Antioch, but then he related the event in his epistle to the Galatians, which resulted in the conflict being “replayed” over and over for believers in countless generations (Galatians 2:11-14).

While Paul was correct doctrinally, you’ve got to admire how Peter so humbly responded.  He probably felt hurt and chafed at the rebuke initially—that’s something we can only speculate about.  What we do know is that he ultimately allowed this experience to make him better, not bitter.  Lesser men, embarrassed, would have likely held a grudge and been driven to discredit Paul.  But Peter allowed the disagreement to season him and refused to let it to poison him.

Instead of operating out of insecurity because of Paul’s great intellect, Peter later honored and even defended Paul: “This is what our beloved brother Paul also wrote to you with the wisdom God gave him—speaking of these things in all of his letters. Some of his comments are hard to understand, and those who are ignorant and unstable have twisted his letters to mean something quite different, just as they do with other parts of Scripture” (2 Peter 3:15-16, NLT).

When I was younger (and operating out of much insecurity myself), it was vitally important to me to be right.  When I graduated from Bible school, I was nearly omniscient (or thought I was) and was on the alert to quickly defeat any belief or idea that did not agree with mine.  As I’ve aged a bit, it’s amazing how much less I know now than I did nearly 30 years ago.  I still hold strongly to certain core beliefs, and I think that is important.  But I’ve also learned to be more respectful of people’s beliefs, ideas, and viewpoints that may disagree with mine.  Instead of seeing them as threats to be defeated, I now see them as learning opportunities.  I’ve found it very liberating to embrace the attitude (in many non-essential matters relating to styles, methods, etc.) that “You don’t have to be wrong for me to be right.”  I appreciate the oft-stated principle, ‘In essentials, unity; in non-essentials, liberty; and in all things, charity.’”

Many wise individuals have learned to benefit, grow, and learn through conflict—they have cultivated the art of redemptive disagreement.  Consider the following:

• “Agreement makes us soft and complacent; disagreement brings out our strength.  Our real enemies are the people who make us feel so good that we are slowly, but inexorably, pulled down into the quicksand of smugness and self-satisfaction.” (Sydney Harris)

• “We find comfort among those who agree with us – growth among those who don’t.”  (Frank A. Clark)

• “When we are debating an issue, loyalty means giving me your honest opinion, whether you think I’ll like it or not.  Disagreement at this stage, stimulates me.  But once a decision has been made, the debate ends.  From that point on, loyalty means executing the decision as if it were your own.”  (Colin Powell)

• “I have never in my life learned anything from any man who agreed with me.” (Dudley Field Malone)

• “The people to fear are not those who disagree with you, but those who disagree with you and are too cowardly to let you know.”  (Napoleon Bonaparte)

• “He who has learned to disagree without being disagreeable has discovered the most valuable secret of a diplomat.”  (Robert Estabrook)

• “A certain amount of opposition is a great help to a man; it is what he wants and must have to be good for anything.  Hardship and opposition are the native soil of manhood and self-reliance.”  (John Neal)

• "Get a friend to tell you your faults, or better still, welcome an enemy who will watch you keenly and sting you savagely. What a blessing such an irritating critic will be to a wise man, what an intolerable nuisance to a fool!" (Charles H. Spurgeon)

• Benjamin Disraeli humorously said, “My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me.”

In “The Grace Awakening,” Charles Swindoll shared the following guidelines for modeling grace through disagreeable times:

• Always leave room for an opposing viewpoint.
• If an argument must occur, don’t assassinate.
• If you don’t get your way, get over it, get on with life.
• Sometimes the best solution is separation.

On that fourth point, Swindoll cited Paul and Barnabas, and said, “If I can’t go on with the way things are in a particular ministry, I need to resign!  But in doing so I should not drag people through my unresolved conflicts because I didn’t get my way.  If separation is the best solution, doing it graciously is essential.

I trust that we’ll all be receptive to the wisdom and grace that will enable us to do what Paul said in Romans 12:18 (NKJV):  “If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men.”

Every time January rolls around, people begin speculating about what the New Year will bring. One individual said, "My interest is in the future because I am going to spend the rest of my life there." As understandable as that perspective is, Winston Churchill emphasized the importance of maintaining focus on "today" when he said, "It is a mistake to look too far ahead. Only one link of the chain of destiny can be handled at a time." Planning in life is important, but a great future will only be ours if we do the vital and necessary things today!

In his book, "You Can Live a Purposeful Life," James Emery White related a series of questions to help us determine if we’ve considered and identified our core values:

* If I knew that tomorrow would be the last full day of my life, how would I spend the day?
* At the end of my life, what do I want to look back and say I’ve accomplished?
* If a list of adjectives were compiled to describe my life, what words would I like on that list?
* If I were to die tomorrow, what would I want people to remember as my most important achievement?
* Am I investing myself in those things that matter to me?
* Is there any person or cause I would be willing to die for?
* If I were contemplating suicide, what are five reasons for not killing myself?
* What is vitally important to me, what has some importance, and what is a complete waste to me?
* If I were to write a letter to my children about what was most important in my life, what would I tell them?
* If only a single word could be written on my tombstone, what would that word be?

It’s easy to waste time and energy in life worrying about things over which we have no control, instead of focusing on and acting on those very important issues that we do have control over. If you find yourself being tempted this year to be distracted by the many cares of this world, remind yourself of the importance of living deliberately according to the values that are really vital to you.

Many years ago at a church service, I gave an altar call and a handful of people responded; one of these being a boy in his early teens. I had a self-congratulatory thought as though I was somehow responsible for these responses. Reality came quickly as a dear lady approached and let me know how thankful she was that God had touched her grandson’s heart. This grandmother told me that she had been praying for years for her grandson to come to the Lord. I realized that “I” wasn’t the cause of this young man coming to the Lord at all. I had been privileged to have a role in the overall process, but the gospel, the Power of the Holy Spirit, and this lady’s prayers were the major components of the process that led to this glorious event.

Getting born-again is an event. Many people can remember the moment their heart was convicted and they prayed to accept Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior. That is truly a glorious event. But there was a process that preceded and led up to that event; it didn’t “just happen.” God knew you before the foundation of the world. Jesus came and performed the great work of redemption in His death, burial, and resurrection. Then the Holy Spirit came and worked through laborers to get you the gospel and to draw you to the point of faith.

Once the event of the new birth occurred in our lives, it launched us into another process: discipleship – being a fully committed follower of the Lord Jesus Christ. Praying “the sinners prayer” wasn’t a final step; it was a first step. Billy Graham said, “Being a Christian is more than just an instantaneous conversion – it is a daily process whereby you grow to be more and more like Christ.”

The Day of Pentecost was an event for the 120 gathered in the upper room, but it wasn’t an event for the sake of the event itself. It was a catalyst for other events and processes that were to follow. That glorious event launched those affected into a lifestyle (or process) of serving, witnessing, and continually being filled with and being led by the Spirit of God.

The word “event” comes from a Latin word meaning “to happen.” It refers to an outcome, a result, or an occurrence. In physics, an event is “an occurrence that is sharply localized at a single point in space and instant of time.” On the other hand, “process” refers to various steps, changes, or actions that progressively build upon one another and lead to a certain outcome or result.

Thanksgiving dinner may be the event, but just ask the cook; it took a process to get ready for and to prepare for the event. A team winning the championship game is an event, but all of the practicing and preparation by the winning team was a process. It’s very easy to focus on the event and to prize it above all else, while at the same time forgetting or not appreciating the process (or processes) that made the event possible.

Mature Believers Value Both Process and Event

I don’t know what it is about human nature, but I think all of us tend to love the event, but not care too much for the process. We look for the destination, but we don’t always appreciate the journey. We tend to love the results, but we don’t always want to take the steps necessary to experience the results.

One of David’s mighty men was named Eleazar. 2 Samuel 23:7 says, “He killed Philistines until his hand was too tired to lift his sword, and the LORD gave him a great victory that day. The rest of the army did not return until it was time to collect the plunder!” The victory and the collecting of the spoils was a great event. The process that led to the event was the battle. Eleazar embraced the process, but everyone else only wanted to enjoy the event that followed.

That reminds me of the story many of us read as a child called “The Little Red Hen.” Do you remember it? The little red hen lived with a duck, a pig, and a cat. The hen found a grain of corn, planted it, harvested it, took the kernels to be turned into flour, and made the flour into bread. At every step, she asked the others if they would help her, and always received a negative response. However, when she sat down to eat the bread, everyone else wanted to partake. The story perfectly illustrates how people love the event (the finished product), but don’t necessarily want to participate in the process.

You’ve probably heard about the struggle a butterfly undergoes as it works its way out of its chrysalis (cocoon). It is a struggle (a process) as it works and fights its way out, but it is that very struggle that enables the wings of the butterfly to develop properly so that it can both be and fly beautifully (the outcome or the event). There is character that is developed in our lives through the growing process that enables us to be healthy and appreciate the outcomes we later experience in life. Perhaps that’s why Proverbs 20:21 tells us, “An inheritance gained hastily at the beginning will not be blessed at the end.”

For us…

A Sunday morning church service is an event, but all the prayer, planning, and preparation that goes on behind the scenes is a process.

The rapture of the church is an event, but “occupying until He comes” is a process.

Hearing “Well done, thou good and faithful servant” will be an event, but the obedience that leads up to that is a process. 2 Timothy 2:5 says, “if anyone competes in athletics, he is not crowned [the event] unless he competes according to the rules [the process].

Mike Krzyzewski of Duke’s basketball team said, “Our goal is not to win. It’s to play together and play hard. Then, winning takes care of itself.” At first glance, his statement seems to be counter-intuitive, but he’s differentiating between process and event. He’s saying that if his team will focus on the right components of the process, they’ll experience the right outcome (or event).

Likewise, famed boxer of yesteryear, Joe Frazier noted, “You can map out a fight plan or a life plan. But when the action starts, you’re down to your reflexes. That’s where your roadwork shows. If you cheated on that in the dark of the morning, you’re getting found out now under the bright lights.” The training in the dark of the morning he referred to is the process; the big match under the bright lights is the event.

Over the years, I’ve observed that some Christians are thrill-seekers, always pursuing a greater spiritual high (event) than their last one. They travel here, there, and everywhere looking for the most dynamic services they can find. The more sensational the better. Please don’t misunderstand me; I’m thankful for services where God touches people in profound and meaningful ways, but “events” that we have with God should lead us into a process of transformation, service, obedience, and discipleship; not simply cause us to pursue more events.

I remember hearing Brother Hagin say something once that really shocked me. He said that often, instantaneous healings are more of a curse than a blessing. I couldn’t fathom that being true until he explained what he had observed over the years. He said that when people received an instantaneous healing, it was often based on the faith, gift, or anointing of another person, and they often lost that healing. Then, they had no idea of what to do to receive healing. However, when people received healing as a result of a process…of their faith being built on the word of God, and allowing His word to be medicine to their flesh, they not only received their healing, but they also knew how to maintain their healing. Of course, we appreciate instant healings (Jesus ministered these consistently), but let’s understand what Brother Hagin was communicating.

Let’s celebrate and fully pursue both great processes and great events. Like so many of the things God makes available to us, it’s really not an either/or proposition. Most often, it’s a matter of both/and. Let’s go after and actively embrace everything that God has for us, whether it’s in the form of a process or an event!

Lessons from a Fallen King
Rev. Tony Cooke

We are going to look at a person in the Bible who never realized his full potential in God. The person I speak of is Saul from the Old Testament.

Saul is not one of the more positive role models given to us in the Word of God.

When we consider Saul, we realize several things…

* The Bible is honest about the flaws and the sins of its characters
* God did not try to sugar-coat the truth
* We see the very tangible dangers of disobedience

1 Corinthians 10:11-12
11 Now all these things happened to them as examples, and they were written for our admonition…
12 Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall.

My desire in sharing this is that we will all learn from Saul, and benefit from his experience.

We can learn certain things…

* from Saul
* from how God dealt with him
* from how Saul responded.

1. GOD MAY HAVE SOME SURPRISES FOR YOU. HIS PLANS FOR YOU MAY BE BIGGER THAN YOU EVER IMAGINED.

Saul was merely looking for some lost donkeys when Samuel confronted him with his destiny… to become the King of Israel – 1 Samuel 9:3

This is not something Saul was ready to hear. He was intimidated and overwhelmed by the magnitude of his assignment.

1 Samuel 9:21 – Am I not a Benjamite, of the smallest of the tribes of Israel, and my family is the least of all the families of the tribe of Benjamin?

John 15:16 – You did not choose me, but I chose you, and ordained you…

2 Tim. 1:9 – God has saved us, and called us with a holy calling, not according to our works, but according to His own purpose and grace, which was given us in Christ Jesus before the world began.

2. THE POWER OF THE HOLY SPIRIT WILL MAKE THE DIFFERENCE IN YOUR LIFE.

1 Samuel 10:6, 9-10
6 Then the Spirit of the LORD will come upon you, and you will prophesy with them and be turned into another man.
9 So it was, when he had turned his back to go from Samuel, that God gave him another heart; and all those signs came to pass that day.
10 When they came there to the hill, there was a group of prophets to meet him; then the Spirit of God came upon him, and he prophesied among them.

Pentecost was all about the life-transforming power of the Spirit of God coming upon believers – when we get filled with the Holy Spirit, He turns us into something we never were before – He gives us gifts and endowments that enable us to do things we never could have done on our own.

3. YOU MUST NOT FORGET THE PRACTICAL ISSUES IN LIFE AND MINISTRY.

I Samuel 10:7
And let it be, when these signs come to you, that you do as the occasion demands; for God is with you. (NKJV)

(NAS) do whatever you find to be done…

(NIV) do whatever your hand finds to do…

(TLB) your decisions should be based on whatever seems best under the circumstances…

Notice the balance

vs. 6 – Emphasizes the Spirit

vs. 7 – Emphasizes the practical

Some are so heavenly minded they are no earthly good. Others are so earthly minded they are no heavenly good. We need both!

4. A LIFE OF OBEDIENCE IS ESSENTIAL TO A LONG AND FRUITFUL MINISTRY.

There were key points in Saul’s life where he disobeyed God, and it cost him the kingdom.

1 Samuel 13:13-14
13 And Samuel said to Saul,"You have done foolishly. You have not kept the commandment of the LORD your God, which He commanded you. For now the LORD would have established your kingdom over Israel forever.14 But now your kingdom shall not continue. The LORD has sought for Himself a man after His own heart, and the LORD has commanded him to be commander over His people, because you have not kept what the LORD commanded you."

1 Samuel 15:10-11
10 Now the word of the LORD came to Samuel, saying,11 "I greatly regret that I have set up Saul as king, for he has turned back from following Me, and has not performed My commandments." And it grieved Samuel, and he cried out to the LORD all night.

Obedience to God is not an option.

Isaiah 1:19-20
19 If you are willing and obedient,
You shall eat the good of the land;
20 But if you refuse and rebel,
You shall be devoured by the sword";
For the mouth of the LORD has spoken.

5. WHEN GOD USES YOU, STAY SMALL IN YOUR OWN EYES.

1 Samuel 15:17-18 (NIV)
Samuel said, "Although you were once small in your own eyes, did you not become the head of the tribes of Israel? The LORD anointed you king over Israel.

Always remember that whatever you have is a gift from God.

Always remember that the gifts God has given you are (1) for the purpose of blessing others and (2) for His glory.

If God has given you the gift of teaching, it is so others can learn.

If God has given you the gift of pastoring, it is so others can be cared for.

If God has given you the gift of evangelism, it is so the lost can be saved.

If God has given you the gift of healing and miracles, it is so others can be healed.

Jesus said: "I can of mine own self do nothing."

Paul said: "Yet not I, but Christ lives in me." "Yet not I, but the grace of God that was with me."

6. NEVER RESENT THE GIFTINGS OR THE ANOINTING THAT RESTS UPON OTHERS.

Saul was jealous of David. It created hatefulness and brought forth violence.

You must be secure in your own relationship with God, in your walk with God, and in your ministry.

Do not fall prey to the deadly trap of comparison, or get into competition with other ministers.

7. DO NOT FORCE GOD TO FIND SOMEONE ELSE TO DO THE JOB THAT YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO DO.

Because Saul disqualified himself, God had to appoint another.

1 Samuel 13:14
But now your kingdom shall not continue. The LORD has sought for Himself a man after His own heart, and the LORD has commanded him to be commander over His people, because you have not kept what the LORD commanded you."

The Apostle Paul was very aware of the need to be diligent and disciplined.

1 Corinthians 9:27
But I discipline my body and bring it into subjection, lest, when I have preached to others, I myself should become disqualified.

God will raise up others to do your work if He has to, but He wants you to do what you’ve been called to do!

Esther 4:14
For if you remain completely silent at this time, relief and deliverance will arise for the Jews from another place, but you and your father’s house will perish. Yet who knows whether you have come to the kingdom for such a time as this?"

God is still seeking men after his own heart!

2 Chronicles 16:9
For the eyes of the LORD run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to show Himself strong on behalf of those whose heart is loyal to Him.

God has a place for you, and He’s waiting for you to take your place.

Not necessarily because someone else did wrong, but because:

* The fields are white unto harvest
* The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few
* He still sees the multitudes and is still filled with compassion – sees them weary, scattered, as sheep without a shepherd

God has a place for you, and He’s waiting for you to take your place because…

* He is still building His Church, a Church that the gates of hell will not prevail against.
* His Church is still under orders, the Great Commission – to go into all the world…

What Do We Learn from Saul?

1. God has surprises for you. His plan for you may be bigger than you ever imagined.
2. The power of the Holy Spirit will make the difference in your life.
3. Don’t forget the practical areas of life and ministry.
4. A life of obedience is essential for a long and fruitful ministry.
5. When God uses you, stay small in your own eyes.
6. Never resent the giftings/anointing of others.
7. Don’t force God to find someone else to do the job you were supposed to do.

Whether it’s learning to tie your shoes or driving a stick shift, life is a series of skill acquisitions. It doesn’t matter if you are a butcher, a baker, or a candlestick maker, you must have certain skills in order to do what you do. A Boy Scout who just earned his First Aid Badge will have acquired certain skills, a Registered Nurse will possess far more skills, while a neurosurgeon will have more specialized and advanced skills yet.

In this article, we are addressing what is often the last skill a spiritual leader learns: Self-Care. When I went to Bible School and began serving in the ministry, I was eager to acquire skills that I could use in pastoral ministry—in ministering to others. I first studied in the classroom, and eventually began to practice implementing those principles in real-life situations. Stop and consider a few basic and foundational skills a minister needs: prayer, study, teaching and preaching, organizing and administrating, counseling, and evangelizing.

As time goes on, leaders become aware that other skills are necessary, such as motivating, recruiting, delegating, and supervising. What about bookkeeping, accounting, banking, legal issues, building maintenance, church construction, and technology needs? Leaders confront problems associated with ministering to youth and marriages, as well as issues issues pertaining to aging, hospitalizations, and the bereaved. The need for people-skills becomes apparent as ministers find themselves wishing they had advanced training in psychology, conflict resolution, and human resources.

I was curious about what congregations and boards sometime expect of pastors, and I did an internet search on “pastoral opportunities.” I located one church that was looking to hire a pastor, and this is what they had listed as “required skills” for the prospective candidate:

• Administration of Programs, Administrative Leadership, Adult Ministry , Communication (Written/Oral), Conflict Management, Congregational Communication, Congregational Fellowship, Congregational Home Visitation, Corporate Worship & Administration of Sacraments, Evaluation of Program and Staff, Evangelism, Family Ministry, Financial Management, Fund-Raising, Hospital and Emergency Visitation, Information Technology, Involvement in Mission beyond the Local Community, Leadership Development, Management of Building Usage, Mediation Skills, Office Management, Organizational Development, Pastoral Care, Preaching, Spiritual Development, Stewardship and Commitment Programs, Strategic Planning, Teaching, Youth Ministry

Does it make you tired to read that list? Of course, no one person can possibly be proficient in all areas, and hopefully leaders will be able to surround themselves with like-minded people who have skills in these various areas, but even then, a pastor can still feel responsibility to oversee others who are working in these areas, and that means he usually has to have at least some working knowledge in these varied issues.

What often results? Dr. Richard A. Swenson spoke of burnout in the “Charred Bacon” section of his book, Margin. He said, “Next time you fry bacon, leave one strip in the pan for an extra fifteen minutes. Then pick it up and look it over. This shriveled, charred, stiff-ended strip is analogous to what a person experiences in burnout.”

Some ministers seem to have a knack for taking care of themselves, pacing themselves, and setting proper boundaries for their lives. A significant number, though, seem not to learn these things until they’ve had the “charred bacon” experience. This is why I say that “self-care” is often the last skill a minister learns. He spends decades ministering to others before realizing that his own inner-resources have become depleted.

Let’s look at two individuals in Scripture. The first did not know his limits and failed to take care of himself. The second wisely operated in the skill of self-care.

Example One: Paul’s Assistant, Epaphroditus

Philippians 2:26-28, 30 (NKJV)
26 …he [Epaphroditus] was longing for you all, and was distressed because you had heard that he was sick. 27 For indeed he was sick almost unto death; but God had mercy on him, and not only on him but on me also, lest I should have sorrow upon sorrow. 29 Receive him therefore in the Lord with all gladness, and hold such men in esteem;  30 because for the work of Christ he came close to death, not regarding his life, to supply what was lacking in your service toward me.

Kenneth Wuest renders verse 30, “…he recklessly exposed his own life.” The Message Version paraphrases it, “in the process of finishing up that work, he put his life on the line and nearly died doing it.”

I love it that Paul did not condemn Epaphroditus. As a matter of fact, he said, “…hold such men in esteem.” But in pointing out the nature of the problem—that he over-extended himself and failed to pace himself—he was also warning others not to follow in the same pattern. The lessons seem clear:

1. You can’t neglect yourself while you’re trying to save the world.
2. You have limitations and you have needs.
3. Respect your limitations and meet your needs in healthy, appropriate ways.
4. If you don’t take care of your own well-being, no one else will.
5. You are the steward of your own spiritual, emotional, and physical health.
6. The Sabbath is important. We are not under the Old Testament “Law” of the Sabbath, but there is a Sabbath principle that is universal, and it needs to be observed.
7. We need seasons of rest, refreshing, and rejuvenation.

In Pastors at Great Risk, Bob Sewell is quoted: “When my burnout was taking place, Howard Hendricks looked over his desk at me one day and said, ‘If you don’t do what you’re professing and teaching others to do, you’re a spiritual con artist.’  I think that as we continually give out when our inner reservoir is dry and empty, we become spiritual con artists as we call people to spiritual exercises that no longer matter much to us. It’s strong language, but that’s exactly what I was becoming as I talked to others about a full life in God while I was empty, dangerously empty.”

Example Two: The Lord Jesus

Mark 6:30-31 (NLT)
30 The apostles returned to Jesus from their ministry tour and told him all they had done and taught. 31 Then Jesus said, “Let’s go off by ourselves to a quiet place and rest awhile.” He said this because there were so many people coming and going that Jesus and his apostles didn’t even have time to eat.

We said earlier that the last skill that some ministers learn is that of taking care of themselves. Apparently, Epaphroditus didn’t operate in this, but Jesus did. Today, there are different levels we should consider.

1. We must PERCEIVE the skill. This speaks of our awareness of the need to take care of ourselves.
2. We must POSSESS the skill. This means that we know how to take care of ourselves.
3. We must PRACTICE the skill. This means that we are actually doing it—we are actually taking care of ourselves.

Consider how Paul instructed Timothy:

1 Timothy 4:15-16 (NKJV)
15 Meditate on these things; give yourself entirely to them, that your progress may be evident to all. 16 Take heed to yourself and to the doctrine. Continue in them, for in doing this you will save both yourself and those who hear you.

It’s not that Paul wanted Timothy to be self-absorbed or narcissistic, but he realized that if Timothy was going to last in helping others, he had to be strong and refreshed himself.

Here are some thoughts about the skill of self-care:

1. You need breaks. Not just physical breaks, but mental and emotional breaks also. Some ministers never shut down their brain activity concerning church related issues. Vacations, relaxation, and hobbies are NOT enemies of the ministry; they are necessary for longevity in ministry. What have you done for fun lately? Dave Williams said, “Working too long without a break is a form of pride.”
2. You need help. God sends others to help, and if they aren’t there, consider scaling back what  you’re doing. If you feel like the guy at the carnival spinning all the plates on the sticks, you may need to let a few of the plates fall. It’s better to do a few things well than to do many things badly.
3. You need health. You’ve only got one body, and God said it was the Temple of the Holy Spirit. Are you taking good care of your temple? Good food, good sleep, and good exercise are all important. Emotional health is also vitally important. How are you handling stress? Are you being honest with frustrations and other emotions? Do you have a good sounding board in your life (I know you’ve got God, but do you have a friend, a peer, a mentor that is also helping you in your journey)?
4. You need renewal. The Great Shepherd is still in the business of restoring souls and making us to lie down in green pastures beside still waters (Psalm 23:2-3). If all of your prayer and study is just so you can “do your job,” are you really absorbing enough nutrients yourself? Don’t stay so preoccupied with ministry work that you forget to be transformed yourself by the Savior you love.

If you learned self-care early on, wonderful. If you’re like many and it’s one of the later skills you learn, may you practice and perfect it well.