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Strengthening Marriages

What does your church do to strengthen marriages? What kinds of resources (books, videos, classes, etc.) have you found helpful? Are there any special tools, such as personality inventories, etc. that you’ve found to be helpful? Does your church offer any type of counseling for couples, marriage retreats, etc.? How often do you teach on marriage and relationships from the pulpit? I’m looking for any and all ideas that we can possibly implement in our church to help our couples have successful marriages.

Staying Focused

As a pastor, I find myself having to deal with so many interruptions and distractions that it’s hard to stay proactive with my schedule. It seems like I’m always putting out fires, and then I don’t have enough time for family, study, prayer, etc. The problems I find myself dealing with are legitimate and do require some attention, but how do I keep myself from being completely side-tracked by all these issues?

Staying on Track

As a young minister, I’ve noticed how many ministers seem to get off-track in some glaring way during the course of their ministries. I never want to do anything that dishonors God or become someone who brings reproach to the Gospel or misrepresents the Lord Jesus Christ. I’ve always heard the admonitions about “the gold, the girls, and the glory,” but can you share with me what you feel are the root areas of sin (or neglect, disobedience, attitude problems, etc.) that ultimately open up the door to these more obvious sins. I would love to hear from proven ministers how to stay on-track…how to avoid getting into prideful attitudes or wrong behavior. My heart’s desire is to serve God with honor and integrity over the course of my lifetime. What are the specific pitfalls and traps I need to watch out for?

Staff Development

I’m looking for insights on how to work with and develop my staff, not so much what to expect from them, but rather, I’d like to know: “What are a pastor’s responsibilities toward his or her staff?” Read the responses.

Staff Communication

As a pastor, I had a situation where a church member confided in one of my staff members about a particular matter (they are friends). Because of the way it was shared, my staff member never conveyed the information to me. I ended up making some church-related decisions and taking some actions which I never would have taken had I known what the staff member knew. Am I wrong to be concerned that my staff member felt more loyalty to the church member than to me as the pastor? How should I address this to this particular staff member, and how should I communicate with my overall staff about what I expect regarding this type of scenario?

Staff Meetings

What is the best way to lead staff meetings; especially with full and part-time staff, or even volunteer staff? What should the staff be expected to prepare for the meeting? How are agendas best established? How often should you have meetings to cover church business as opposed to providing training? Who should attend staff meetings? Do you have different levels of meetings? Pastoral staff only or all staff attending?

Staff Evaluation and Coaching

As a pastor, I regularly observe the performance of my staff members and leaders. I don’t want to be a perfectionist or a micro-manager, but I want to see everyone given to excellence, thoroughness, and attention to detail. How do I instill these values in my leaders? How can I give them feedback (which sometimes involves correction) without making them feel that I’m always “riding them?” They do alright much of the time, but I get frustrated when they just don’t seem to “get it” and miss obvious things that should be done. How do I coach, give feedback, and help our church staff embrace a sense of excellence in all that we do?

Small Groups

As a pastor, I’m looking to help facilitate small group fellowship among our people. What are other churches doing with small groups? What formats and approaches seem to work the best? I’d love to hear what types of guidelines, resources, curriculum, etc. that other pastors have used successfully. What are the pros and cons of small groups?

Sharing With My Spouse

As a pastor, I don’t want to keep secrets from my spouse, but I’m not always sure it’s wise to tell her every problem that’s going on in the church. Is it ever wise to guard and protect one’s spouse from certain information that would be hurtful or discouraging to her? What criteria do I use in deciding which information to share and which information to withhold?

A Sense of Humor

I know it’s vitally important to keep a sense of humor in ministry, and I know it’s also important to not take yourself too seriously (even though we take our calling seriously). I’d love to hear pastors share some of their funnier moments in ministry, including their bloopers and blunders.

Seeker Sensitive Churches

I’ve been considering and exploring various styles of ministry lately. I have certain core values that compel me to hold to an emphasis that is strong in the Word of God and the Holy Spirit, but I’m also seeing many churches that could be termed “seeker sensitive” that are seemingly experiencing a lot of growth. Is it possible to integrate certain principles from other churches without compromising our core values? Are there pros and cons in this area?

Learning to Say “No”

By nature, I’m a people-pleaser. I want to accommodate people, but I find that I often say “yes” to some requests on the spur of the moment, only to regret it later. I find myself getting over-committed and wishing I wasn’t so impulsive to agree to things that seem good at the moment, but really aren’t beneficial in my overall schedule (or in the church’s overall ministry). Can other pastors help me learn how to say “no” without offending people? How can I be more strategic in what I say “yes” to, and how can I keep better control of my life, my commitments, and my schedule?

Responding to Criticism

When a disgruntled exiting staff member or church member spreads lies about you as the pastor among people in the church what is the best response? Address it publicly, privately with the parties involved, or ignore it? It used to be that lies, gossip, etc. were spread only by word-of-mouth, but now these things can be posted on blogs, etc. and that seems to extend their shelf-life. Any thoughts?

Receiving an Offering

Are there any techniques or mechanics that I should know to be more effective when I receive the tithes and offerings from the congregation? No one has ever really taught me “how” to receive an offering, and it seems there should be principles that I could benefit from. I don’t want to hype or pressure people, but neither do I want to feel backward or apologetic in receiving the offering. Are there any tips seasoned pastors could share that will help me be more effective?

Reading

I am trying to become more disciplined in my reading habits as a pastor, and I’m curious what other pastors do to stay well-read. What percentage of your reading is from the Bible, and what percentage is in other types of books? How much do you read per day, per week? How much of your reading is geared toward spiritual books, theological books, practical books, etc.? Are there certain authors you read after more than others? Are there some books that you find yourself reading on an annual basis? Do you ever do any recreational reading?

Raising Funds for New Facilities

I am considering entering into a capital campaign for a building project. What are the best ways to raise funds for new facilities? What are the pros and cons of capital campaigns? Is this something we should do in-house, or should we look for an outside company/service to assist us? Everything that we have done until now has been taken care of from the general budget in terms of construction and purchasing land, but our next project is going to be much larger. Thanks for any advice along these lines.

Quality and Quantity

I’m trying to find the balance in my ministry and church between pursuing quality and quantity. I want to reach a lot of people, but I don’t want to sacrifice quality of ministry in the process. Any tips on how I can establish a healthy balance in this area?

Proper Protocol for Leaving a Church

Is there a proper protocol for people leaving the church? It always seems difficult when people leave the church. Some are gracious in departing, some are not, and others just disappear. This can be painful to me as the pastor and unsettling to church members when their friends leave. I’d like to be able to teach some reasonable guidelines to people about the proper way to leave the church if that becomes their decision, but what’s reasonable for me to expect of people who depart for whatever reason? Has any pastor taught his people on the proper way to leave the church, and if so, what are the main points or considerations?

Priorities

As a young pastor, I’m trying to learn how to get and keep my priorities straight. I’ve heard people say to put God first, family second, and church third. But how does that work out practically? What is it that pastors actually do to protect and to practice those priorities?

Preaching Schedule

As a young pastor, I’ve just been preaching about whatever I feel inspired to preach. Sometimes I don’t know what I’m going to preach on Sunday morning until Saturday night. I don’t want to eliminate all spontaneity or being led by the Spirit, but should I have some kind of “preaching overview schedule” to make sure I cover certain topics each and every year? How do other pastors plan their preaching schedule and establish which topics they’re going to cover over the course of a year to ensure their people receive a well-rounded diet?

Dealing with a Pinch?

Our church has been feeling a pinch financially in the light of the current economic conditions. Are other churches being affected by what’s going on economically as well? If so, what types of things do pastors minister to encourage their people during these times, and what types of adjustments are pastors making to keep their churches healthy financially?

People Skills

What are the two or three most important skills you’ve found that are necessary in dealing with people, and how do these skills help you lead? Did these come naturally to you, or did you have to work at developing them?

The Pastoral Spouse

What role does your spouse play as you seek to carry out your pastoral call? In addition to your own personal experiences, how have you seen a spouse help or hinder other pastors?

Originality in Sermons

As a young preacher, I’m finding it helpful to get inspiration and ideas from others in writing my messages. Where is the line, ethically speaking, when it comes to gleaning and borrowing from other people’s material in my own sermon preparation and delivery? At what point should I give credit to others? I’m also curious how much other pastors borrow from and are inspired by what other people have said/written, and how much of other pastor’s preaching is entirely original to them?