Humor Section
Humor Section (cont)
Be a Kid Again.
Give yourself a gold star for everything you do today.
Sing into your hairbrush.
Grow a milk mustache.
Smile back at the man in the moon.
Read the funnies and throw the rest of the paper away.
Play a game where you make up the rules as you go along.
Open a pack of cupcakes and give one to a friend even though you wanted both of them for yourself.
Step carefully over sidewalk cracks.
Have a staring contest with your cat.
Eat ice cream for breakfast.
Kiss a frog, just in case.
Give someone a hug around the neck.
Blow the wrapper off a straw.
Refuse to eat crusts.
Watch TV in your pajamas.
Have someone read you a story.
Eat dessert first.
Wear your favorite shirt with your favorite pants even if they don’t match.
Sneak some frosting off a cake.
Do a cartwheel.
Get someone to buy you something you don’t really need.
Hide your vegetables under your napkin.
Stay up past your bedtime.
Whatever you’re doing, stop once in a while for recess.
Make a slurpy sound with your straw when you get to the bottom of a milkshake.
Put way too much sugar on your cereal.
Play a song you like really loud, over and over.
Walk barefoot in wet grass.
Make cool screeching noises every time you turn a corner.
Count the colors in a rainbow.
Fuss a little, then take a nap.
Take a running jump over a big puddle.
Eat dinner at the coffee table.
Giggle a lot for no real reason.
A preacher was completing a sermon against the evils of alcohol. With great expression he said, "If I had all the beer in the world, I’d take it and throw it into the river."
With even greater emphasis, he said, "And if I had all the wine in the world, I’d take it and throw it into the river."
And then, finally, he said, "And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I’d take it and throw it into the river." He sat down.
The song leader then stood very cautiously and announced with a pleasant smile, "For our closing song, let us sing Hymn #365: ‘Shall We Gather At the River.’"
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. The next week the man realized that he would need his wife to wake him at 5.00 am for an early morning business flight to Chicago. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence, he finally wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5.00 am."
The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9.00am, and that he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn’t woken him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed … it said… "It is 5.00am; wake up."
A father was at the beach with his children when his four-year old son ran up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore, where a seagull lay dead in the sand. "Daddy, what happened to him?" the son asked.
"He died and went to Heaven," the dad replied.
The boy thought a moment and said, "Did God throw him back?"
A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5, and Ryan, 3. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. "If Jesus were sitting here, He would say ‘Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait’".
Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, "Ryan, you be Jesus!"
