Don’t Dam It by Virgil Stokes

Virgil Stokes is a Pastor and Teacher, serving churches since 1980 in Oklahoma, New York, and Arizona. He and his wife, Judy, pioneered Faith Christian Fellowship of Tucson in 2004. Prior to entering ministry Virgil worked as a Registered Nurse in the field of mental health and addictions treatment. A recovering addict himself, Virgil has written and spoken extensively on Christian recovery. He is the author of several books, and is the founder of Faith Ministry Training Institute, a training program empowering local pastors to equip ministers in their own churches. Pastor Virgil is a graduate of the University of Oklahoma and Rhema Bible Training Center. His passion is getting people out of the pews and into the harvest.

Don't Dam It by Virgil StokesThis year, the Holy Spirit spoke to me and said, “I’m turnin’ it up!” He is going to do more of what He loves to do. The Spirit of God will be moving in the earth in a greater way. Whatever He called you to do, you will have a greater capacity to do it! As I meditated on this concept, the Lord pointed out to me that water, in this case the river of His healing power, always flows to the place of least resistance. I don’t know about you, but I want our church to be a place of least resistance to the flow, a stream without dams. I have been doing this a long time now, and I know there are some things that hinder or resist the move of the Spirit of God in a church. Here are six blockages that we are determined to remove:

Strife: You can feel it in the atmosphere when you walk in the room. It’s not just disagreement. We never all agree about everything. It is an angry, defensive, prideful attitude about the disagreement that poisons the atmosphere. Give up your need to be infallible. It takes two to strive. Resign from the debate.

Rebellion: This is the ugly sister of strife. The rebel reflexively resists authority, believing himself to have a greater insight than the one set over him. When I am under authority I can flow with what my leader wants, as long as it is not sinful, and keep a respectful, loving attitude, even if it is not what I would do in that situation. If asked, I can make respectful suggestions, not unsolicited demands.

Tradition: “This is not the way we used to do it” will stop the Spirit every time. Sometimes our traditions are so powerful that they blind us entirely to what God is doing in the moment. Anything the Bible doesn’t specifically prescribe can be changed to fit the situation and the on-the-spot leading of the Spirit: song choices, service order, altar practices, seating arrangements, carpet colors, you name it. Don’t get blinded by how we used to do it. He makes all things new!

People-pleasing: We might call this “fear of man.” The moment I run the leading of God through the filter of “What will they think of me?” I have quenched the flow. We stifle the Spirit of God because we don’t want other people to think we are foolish. Get over yourself and obey God!

Indifference: This one is almost exclusive property of Christians who have been around the things of God for a long time. They have become bored with God. They despise prophecies, stand limp during worship, and never open their Bible during a message. They have seen and heard it all. The Holy Ghost is a gentleman who will never bother them with His manifest presence.

Human ambition: This is the problem we face when we get carried away with the human measures of success. I want to draw a crowd so I can be esteemed as important in the community, be a big shot in my organization, and increase my financial well-being.  These motivations lead me to do things that cater to people’s “felt needs” rather than things that challenge believers and convict sinners. The two are sometimes not compatible.

Somebody Said: “The root-trouble of the present distress is that the Church has more faith in the world and the flesh than in the Holy Ghost, and things will get no better till we get back to His realized presence and power.”  Samuel Chadwick

The service of God and the expansion of His Kingdom are both possible only by the power of the Holy Spirit. To dam the flow of the Spirit is to effectively fight against God.  Lord, help me not to dam it.

Five Vital Steps in Planning for Retirement by Dr. Dan Beller

Five Vital Steps in Planning for Retirement
Dr. Dan Beller

Click here to read Dr. Beller’s bio.

Planning for RetirementTony writes: Of retirement, D. Elton Trueblood said, “For the Christian, retirement is really liberation for service. The retired person may start a wholly new chapter rather than do nothing. The Christian philosophy of work is one which never ends.”[1]

I didn’t want to say a lot about retirement, because I’ve never been retired. However, I believe it’s very important to learn from those who have traveled the road ahead of us. So I’ve asked a great friend who retired several years ago from pastoring to share how he prepared himself for that transition and how he’s managing life during retirement. I believe his advice can be of great benefit in helping younger people plan and prepare wisely.

From 1980-1983, I was an assistant pastor on the staff of Dr. Dan Beller at Evangelistic Temple in Tulsa. Pastor Beller resigned in 2001 after 34 years of service, but has continued to live and serve vibrantly since that time. I asked him to share some of the decisions he made before retiring. While his remarks (at my request) are specifically targeted toward pastors, I believe the principles can apply to everyone.

Dr. Beller writes: For a Pastor, the word retirement is a misnomer because we never really retire from doing some kind of ministry (serving others). However, there are definite adjustments which must be made from “full time ministry” to “retirement ministry.” Your personal ministry continues in various ways as follows:

  • There is always someone to whom you can minister and be a witness.
  • Your personal study must continue because the educational process is a lifetime experience.
  • There are occasions when you will be invited to speak at churches and participate in weddings, funerals, and various other events.

In the Proverbs 6:6-8, we are exhorted to be wise like the ant because it gathers food during the harvest (your productive years) and stores it up for the difficult times after the harvest (after your productive years). As a retired pastor, I can say from experience that it is vital to save resources and be prepared for the retirement years. Some of the areas of preparation are as follows:

1. Prepare yourself spiritually.

Most of us identify too much with what we do instead of who we are. This is why some pastors lack a good self-image in retirement. It is therefore important to develop new areas of interest for the retirement years. My recommendations are as follows:

  • Continue to study the Bible and relevant materials. Never stop learning.
  • Continue your early morning prayer life, or at other times if you prefer. The first objective in prayer is to maintain your close relationship with God instead of just getting help for your ministry.
  • Pray for the active pastors and assist them whenever possible.
  • Continue to minister in public and private whenever there is a need.
  • Continue formal studies through the programs of your Church Association/Fellowship or online or at a local College or University.

2. Prepare yourself financially.

Zig Ziglar stated, “Money is not the most important thing but it is next to oxygen.” Inadequate retirement income can lead to a lower lifestyle and disappointment. Social Security income is only a supplement to your retirement income and is inadequate for your full support. I recommend the following:

  • Be faithful in giving the Lord’s tithes all of your life. Tithing is a pre-requisite to financial blessings.
  • While you are still pastoring, arrange for your local Church to appropriate a housing allowance so that you can own your own home by retirement. Also, set up an expense account for the senior pastor for church related car expense, travel, church-related meals, etc.
  • If your Church Association/Fellowship has a group retirement plan (like a 403(b) or Tax Sheltered Annuity (TSA)), arrange for your church to make regular contributions on your behalf.
  • Make annual contributions to a tax-deferred IRA; there are a few types to choose from. A trusted, qualified financial advisor can assist you in finding the instrument that is best for you.
  • Pay off all debts before retirement. Example – You can save thousands of dollars in interest on the mortgage of your home by making extra principal payments each month. The principal payments, especially at the beginning of a home loan, are usually surprisingly low. Much of the payment is interest. Avoid credit card debt because the interest is extremely high and if you do have credit card debt, pay it off first.
  • It is imperative to start early in saving for retirement and do not spend all you make in the productive years. A wealthy man told me his philosophy – “You can have it now or you can have it later.” There are many practical ways to save and make some of your income available for retirement savings, as follows:
    • Save by shopping for quality items at a reduced price or by shopping online or being aware of sales and rebates at local stores.
    • Save by not eating out as much or buying that expensive coffee or snack, etc.
    • Use credit card which gives rebates and has no annual fee.

3. Prepare yourself emotionally.

Develop a variety of new interests. The 24/7 schedule of a pastor often precludes time for leisure and other interests. Without these interests, a person can feel idle and unproductive. It is therefore important to develop a variety of interests such as hobbies, sports, recreational reading, attending concerts, and other events, etc.

Adjustments in home and marriage – Discuss with your spouse what you mutually want or do not want in retirement. The spouse has been accustomed to the pastor being gone so much that his being home more than usual can cause friction.

Solutions may include spending time in an office at home or at a local church, volunteer service outside the home, golf or other sporting events, etc.

Conversely, it is important to be of help to your spouse to make up for the lack of time which was given when the schedule was so busy. Also, spending some private time together or going out to dinner occasionally may be a welcome blessing.

A healthy self-image must be maintained by realizing who you are in Christ instead of judging yourself by what you do. It is good to remember that we are saved through grace, by faith, and not by works (Ephesians 2:8-9).

It is important to feel that you are retiring to something instead of retiring from something. One example is to do volunteer work in a local church, hospital, community or civic organizations, etc.

If the pastoral couple enjoys travel, there should be some advanced planning for trips together.

4. Prepare yourself physically, health-wise.

Retirement does not mean that you sit down and become inactive but there must be maintenance of mental and physical health.

  • Remain active in doing regular physical exercises such as joining a local health club, golfing, walking in your neighborhood, having a treadmill in your home, etc.
  • Maintain a healthy diet with vitamins and supplements.
  • Keep your mind and thoughts healthy and positive.

5. Prepare your successor.

In addition to providing quality ministry during your active years of pastoring, one of the most important things you can do is to help secure the long-term success of the church by preparing not only your successor, but also helping raise up a strong ministry team that can work together in leading the church when you step away.

Even though I had a long tenure as pastor (34 years), I was always mindful that someday, someone other than me would be filling the role of senior pastor. I felt it was my responsibility to do everything I could to help mold, shape, and train the one was then the future leader of the church. While my long-term associate eventually did take my place, it was with the consensus of the board of the church and the congregation as well.

Closing Observation – The years a Pastor spends in retirement often equal one half or more of the years spent in active ministry. It is important, therefore, to realize that retirement is a very significant era in your life. It can be quite fulfilling and enjoyable if you make proper preparation and maintain a positive attitude.

[1] Editor Carl F.H. Henry, Baker’s Dictionary of Christian Ethics, Grand Rapids, Michigan, Baker Book House, 1973, Page 715.

Own the Mercy! by Lisa Cooke

Matthew Henry’s commentary on Philippians 4:2-9 had this portion that caught my eye today as I was studying. He says, “We must join thanksgiving with prayers and supplications; not only seek supplies of good, but own the mercies we have received.” …read more

Resurrection: Past, Present, Future by Tony Cooke

Resurrection: Past, Present, Future
Tony Cooke

Past, Present, FutureNo, I’m not confused about what month it is. I know that Easter is not until next month. I believe, though, it’s important that we not only think about resurrection when Easter comes around. I wonder how many believers appreciate all the ramifications of resurrection, and recognize its multi-dimensional influence in our lives.

Our word resurrection is from the Greek word anastasis, which means a rising again, a resurrection from death, raised to life again, to stand up again, raising up. While it’s important to know the meaning of the word, it’s just as important to understand the diversity of how resurrection applies in our lives. When people celebrate Easter, their primary focus (and rightfully so) is on the past, when Jesus was resurrected. However, we will miss much if we neglect the present and future aspects and applications of resurrection.

Resurrection is:

  • An historical fact to be celebrated
  • A current reality to be experienced
  • A future event to be anticipated

Let’s look at each of these.

1. Resurrection is an historical fact to be celebrated.

The culmination and crescendo of each of the Gospels—Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John—is the resurrection of the Lord Jesus Christ. According to Paul, the resurrection is of first importance. 1 Corinthians 15:3-4 says, “For I delivered to you first of all that which I also received: that Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures, and that He was buried, and that He rose again the third day according to the Scriptures…”

The doctrine of the resurrection is absolutely central to the Christian faith. If the resurrection of Jesus is not totally true, then everything in the Bible and in the life of Jesus that precedes it (Genesis through the end of the Gospel Accounts) and everything that follows it (The Book of Acts through the Book of Revelation) is absolutely meaningless.

Of what are considered the great faiths or religions of the world, Christianity alone stakes its entire claim and bases its entire existence on the Resurrection of its Founder; nothing more, nothing less. Christianity is not based on a set of ideas, creeds, morals, beliefs, lifestyle, discipline, or practices. Christianity may produce some of those things, but genuine, biblical Christianity is based entirely and squarely on the Resurrection of Jesus Christ.

Romans 1:4 says that Jesus was, “…declared to be the Son of God with power according to the Spirit of holiness, by the resurrection from the dead.” His resurrection is the basis for all of our hope! Jesus said, “Because I live, you will live also” (John 14:19).

2. Resurrection is a current reality to be experienced.

Most believers recognize and celebrate the past resurrection of Christ, and most are also aware of the future resurrection spoken of in Scripture, but I’m not sure how many Christians realize that there is an aspect of resurrection power that is available to us all at this very moment. What we can experience now is not the full-blown resurrection of receiving new, glorified bodies, but rather, what we might call (using the words of the old song), “a foretaste of glory divine.” Consider the on-going, day-to-day, moment-by-moment resurrection power that Paul said we could all experience:

10 [For my determined purpose is] that I may know Him [that I may progressively become more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him, perceiving and recognizing and understanding the wonders of His Person more strongly and more clearly], and that I may in that same way come to know the power outflowing from his resurrection [which it exerts over believers], and that I may so share His sufferings as to be continually transformed [in spirit into His likeness even] to His death, [in the hope] 11 That if possible I may attain to the [spiritual and moral] resurrection [that lifts me] out from among the dead [even while in the body].
– Philippians 3:10-11 (Amplified)

There is what we could call a “resurrection power” that is available to us right now. Paul said that “…we have the Holy Spirit within us as a foretaste of future glory, for we long for our bodies to be released from sin and suffering. We, too, wait with eager hope for the day when God will give us our full rights as his adopted children, including the new bodies he has promised us.” (Romans 8:23, NLT). We’ll get brand new, resurrected bodies in the future, but right now we have, as Paul said, “a foretaste of future glory.”

Romans 6:4 says, “Therefore we were buried with Him through baptism into death, that just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life.” Because of the resurrection of Jesus Christ, we get to walk in the newness of life right now! We are new creatures in Christ because of His power that has worked and does work in us. We don’t have to wait until heaven to walk in the newness of life!

Though we don’t receive the full dose of resurrection power now, we do have the “foretaste” of His glorious power that has made alive our spirits, comforts and strengthens our souls, and can even quicken our mortal bodies. A great illustration of this is shared by Kenneth Hagin. Having been bedfast for 16 months, he received his healing, and then, after only a couple of months he got a job pulling two-year old peach trees.

He wrote (in “Exceedingly Growing Faith”), “Each morning before sunup we would meet, and every day some of the boys would say, ‘Well, I didn’t think you’d make it today. You know, two or three quit yesterday.’ Even as a young man, Brother Hagin responded, ‘If it weren’t for the Lord I wouldn’t be here, I would answer, for you see, His strength is my strength. The Bible says, The Lord is the strength of my life.’” He also related, “Now, if I had gone by my feelings I would never have gotten out of bed! I was never so weak in my life. I felt as if I couldn’t do it. But I stayed with it. I acted upon the Word because I knew what faith was.”

Brother Hagin ended his testimony about his early work experience saying, “When we began to work each morning I wouldn’t have any strength, but when we started on the first tree (or sometimes the second) I would feel something hit me in the top of my head. It would go through my body, out the ends of my fingers, and out the ends of my toes. Then I would work all day long like a Trojan.” Finally, he said, “In the natural I was the weakest and the skinniest, but I was the only man left of the original crew. I had proved God’s Word.” Resurrection power can make us stand right now! Resurrection power can lift our spirits, encourage our souls, and bring life and strength to our mortal bodies!

3. Resurrection is a future event to be anticipated.

We could never praise God enough for the resurrection of Christ and the eternal life His resurrection has made available to us. But we must remember that what Jesus did in His past speaks volumes about what will occur in our future!

Even in the Old Testament, a future resurrection was perceived and prophesied.

  • Daniel 12:2 (NLT) says, “Many of those whose bodies lie dead and buried will rise up, some to everlasting life and some to shame and everlasting disgrace.”
  • Even Job recognized and proclaimed resurrection. “For I know that my Redeemer lives, and He shall stand at last on the earth; And after my skin is destroyed, this I know, that in my flesh I shall see God” (Job 19:25-26).
  • Isaiah 26:19 (NLT) says, “But those who die in the LORD will live; their bodies will rise again! Those who sleep in the earth will rise up and sing for joy! For your life-giving light will fall like dew on your people in the place of the dead!”

And of course, the New Testament is loaded with powerful promises about our future resurrection. For example, “…the hour is coming in which all who are in the graves will hear His voice and come forth—those who have done good, to the resurrection of life, and those who have done evil, to the resurrection of condemnation” (John 5:28-29).

“And God will raise us from the dead by his power, just as he raised our Lord from the dead” (1 Corinthians 6:14, NLT). Paul went on to say, “But now Christ is risen from the dead, and has become the firstfruits of those who have fallen asleep… (1 Corinthians 15:20) and shortly after wrote, “…each one in his own order: Christ the firstfruits, afterward those who are Christ’s at His coming” (1 Corinthians 15:23). In other words, our future resurrection is based on His past resurrection. He is the firstfruits or the prototype for our future.

“…our citizenship is in heaven, from which we also eagerly wait for the Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, who will transform our lowly body that it may be conformed to His glorious body…” (Philippians 3:20-21).

The future resurrection we will experience not only gives us hope for the future, but conveys to us the great value that God places upon our bodies. Unlike the Greeks, Jesus and Paul did not perceive the body as an evil prison from which our primary aspiration is to escape. We belong to God—every part of us! Paul said, “…your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s” (1 Corinthians 6:19-20).

Because our bodies belong to God, and because God’s claim on our bodies extends into eternity, what we do with our bodies now is significant. This is why Paul told believers to, “…present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God…” (Romans 12:1).

Resurrection is what happens when the life of God touches and influences everything else. Resurrection is an historical fact to be celebrated, a current reality to be experienced, and a future event to be anticipated. Make sure that you are celebrating, experiencing, and anticipating God’s life to the fullest.

Resurrection: Past, Present, Future

No, I’m not confused about what month it is. I know that Easter is not until next month. I believe, though, it’s important that we not only think about resurrection when Easter comes around. I wonder how many believers appreciate all the ramifications of resurrection, and recognize its multi-dimensional influence in our lives. …read more

No One Could Know by Kristan Gray

No One Would Know
Kristan Gray

Kristan Gray’s favorite job is being a mother of three. She is passionate about writing and enjoys using her talents as a columnist for a local newspaper. Her talents include public speaking and previously working as a radio news anchor. She was also an actress for Fire by Night, a Christian program on TBN. Kristan and her husband Scott are both Rhema Bible school graduates, and have been actively involved in ministry both stateside and abroad, where they spent five years serving as missionaries in Africa. She gives God all the credit for everything good in her life.

No One Could Know is engaging, thought provoking and informative. Most importantly, the book is a tool of recovery for those who walked the same road Kristan did. When she chose abortion, she was already a Christian, but had no idea how astounding and full of grace, forgiveness and love our awesome God is. Jesus Christ has truly set her free. Hopefully, you experience His presence as you relax and slip into an excerpt of her autobiography.

This article is excerpted from Kristan Gray’s book, No One Could Know. It can be found at kristangray.com, and at most online book retailers in hardback, soft cover, and as an e-book.

Chapter 1: Sweet Sixteen and Never Been Kissed

No One Could Know by Kristan Gray“If you’re ‘sweet sixteen and never been kissed,’ I’ll buy you a gold watch for your sixteenth birthday!” As a little girl, that frequent promise from my fabulous mom created a fairy-tale-princess impression in my mind. I imagined how wonderful life would be when I blew out that sixteenth candle on my traditional German chocolate birthday cake!

As it turned out, my first kiss was planted on my lips in the gymnasium at Woodward Elementary School’s gymnasium in St. George, Utah, when I was twelve. The Gideon’s International organization visited Mr. Hudson’s sixth grade classroom that day and handed out little red Bibles. Some friends came up with a brilliant idea to sneak off after lunch and use the Bibles in a wedding ceremony. What else were we to do with them? So, with Luke Parks officiating the double wedding, Kate Harris and Ron Goldstein, and Cody Smith and I said, “I do” and kissed a supremely awkward kiss.

It was nothing like I had imagined. I didn’t hear Karen Carpenter’s voice singing, “Why do birds suddenly appear, every time you are near?” or see fireworks like Bobby Brady did when he kissed Millicent on The Brady Bunch TV show.

My heart pounded against my ribs and my shaking palms pooled with sweat, thanks to the peer pressure other sixth graders were dishing out that year. It seemed like lunch break and recess were daily wracked with expectation to meet behind a building to kiss. I wondered, “Is this what being a girlfriend is supposed to be like? I would have rather been playing dodgeball. Is this how boyfriends are supposed to act? In elementary school? Why did we have to kiss?

Because I was twelve instead of sixteen when I was kissed for the first time, I’d sacrificed a gold watch for the deal—and it wasn’t even that great. It was clumsy and pressure ridden. And once I had crossed that line, it felt like there was no going back. It seemed like kissing was expected from then on. After all, that’s what boyfriends and girlfriends did. Didn’t they? Didn’t everyone?

Weren’t real relationships supposed to be unpretentious and straight forward? I started to miss being in third grade when things were clear—like the note Cody had passed to me during Mr. Graham’s third grade reading class. On a piece of red construction paper with torn edges, he’d written the sweetest thing I’d ever seen. “I like you. Do you like me? Circle yes or no.”

I wasn’t so sure about the new expectations. What was with all this kissing clutter clouding simplistic relationships? I was better at passing straight-forward notes and just hanging out playing kickball. Those rules were clear.

Soon after we got “married,” we all found different relationships. Perhaps Cody could tell in my kisses that I’d rather be slugging a softball bat or solving math equations than kissing.

Chapter 2: The Morning Side of the Mountain

Junior high whizzed by without my having a boyfriend, per se. Oh, there were crushes all right but none that ever materialized into a romantic relationship. I was frizzy-haired from bad perms and my teeth looked as if someone had rolled a handful of molars into my mouth like they were Las-Vegas dice, letting my choppers land where ever they would. In my mind, my Rocky Mountain jeans and jelly shoes just didn’t seem as cool on me as they did on the other girls. Braces came in the middle of the seventh grade as did gallons of Love’s Baby Soft perfume and a whole lot of Maybelline mascara from the pink tube with the green lid. Nothing, however, really covered my freckle-faced fear of getting too close to a boy.

Chapter 3: My Sweet-Sixteenth Birthday

I don’t even remember my sixteenth birthday. For the life of me, all I know about that invisible line across the great divide is that I must have had a birthday cake with homemade German Chocolate frosting and vanilla ice cream. I always do.

It’s such a shame I don’t remember a thing about turning sixteen. I do know that on my sixteenth, I received the long anticipated gold watch, even though Mom knew I’d been kissed before I blew out that last candle.

Chapter 6: I Lost It

When my new boyfriend, Brock McBaggage wasn’t working and I wasn’t busy practicing for a play or a dance recital or traveling to a speech tournament, we’d go to an occasional movie, ride horses, or hang out with other couples. We went to parties with classmates and started drinking alcohol. Brock was a great guy with friends I liked.

While he was not romantic, I enjoyed being with him and we shared the same faith.

Believing in God was important to me. Grandmama Griffith had taught me the books of the Bible when I was in first grade, and I loved hearing her tell Bible stories and learning about this Jesus she spoke about in such a personal way. I still have the bookmarker I made in Sunday school when I was six. It references Isaiah 40:8, which says, “The grass withers and the flowers fade, but the word of our God stands forever” (New Living Translation).

I didn’t really know what else the “word of our God” said—but I knew that whatever it said it would always be there—unchanging—something I could stand firm on, no matter what storm of life would come my way. That gave me great comfort. However, at the tender of age of six when I memorized those words, I didn’t know that I would someday cling to them—for dear life.

Brock’s parents were also as active in their church as a couple can be. I was glad we went to church youth group. It was nice to know there were other students out there who believed in Jesus too.

After we dated for a long time, it seemed like sex was just the next thing we were “supposed” to do, regardless of whether or not we were Christians. I don’t even remember our first kiss. I do, however, vividly remember everything about the first time that we had sex.

That old childhood peer pressure to smoke, to kiss and to sneak into the candy store came flooding back. Why didn’t I say “no” back then, and, dear God in heaven, why didn’t I say no to Brock?

It was the first week in December when we went to his house for lunch; it was a Thursday. We only had about forty minutes before we had to be back for our next class. No one else was home. Brock led me into his room. Big mistake. The biggest mistake of my life. Things moved quickly from the time we started kissing. I encourage other kids now—the first time you kiss someone should be when the pastor says, “You may now kiss the bride,” because once you start that train, it sure is difficult to stop it.

After some intimate time—the condom broke. It just broke.

I didn’t think it was a big deal, but Brock utterly freaked out. He wasn’t angry—he was terrified. He immediately panicked, “I know you’re pregnant!”

A clinic’s pregnancy test son revealed, I indeed was pregnant.

What was I going to do? I could move to another state and live with other family, but I didn’t want to move away. I had been “the new girl” at this school and it wasn’t so bad, but if I moved to a new place as “the pregnant new girl,” I was sure to be an outcast. I imagined a cold and clammy village in seventeenth century Boston with overgrown vegetation and a big scarlet letter on my chest. I might as well have shown up at school in a red suit with horns and a tail, carrying a pitch fork. I speculated how challenging it might be to hide a baby under my clothes without drawing suspicion … no one could know.

Brock echoed the sentiment, insisting with great passion that no one could know! After all, there were family members who held important church positions and it would embarrass them. I argued with him that it was a baby and how could we kill the very life we had created?

Chapter 7: Terminated

The doctor finished almost as soon as he’d begun. I thought it would’ve taken a lot longer, but that was it. In—I don’t know—thirty minutes or less, I’m guessing, my life was mine again and Brock’s life was his.

The nurse led me around a corner and told me to lie down in a reclining chair next to a host of other women who were there for the same reason. It looked like a row of lounge chairs at a resort where we should all be sipping tropical drinks with little umbrellas poking out the top while passing sunscreen to each other. And I thought this event was supposed to be discreet so that “no one could know.”

How had so many gotten pregnant unexpectedly? How many of us were there, anyway? How many were there in the U.S. — or other countries?

Every layer of skin and muscle tissue felt heavy and like it was slipping off of my skeleton. My female parts particularly hurt with searing pains—and my heart felt even worse.

The nurse handed me a pill. “Here. It’s Valium to help you relax.”

Hmm … Valium … for anxiety. What about my heart that felt like it had been terminated as well? I’d just done the most dramatic thing in my life and I was supposed to be calm? Where was the hard stuff? “Here’s a pill—it’s all ‘over’ now”? How long was long enough to gain a full recovery anyway?

I quietly blended back into the crowded hallway at school as classes were changing. No one knew our day had been anything other than routine.

No one could know.

Chapter 9: The Issue of Rape

My relationship with Brock ended, he moved away, and I found another group of friends.

At one weekend party, a “friend” kept pouring more and more whiskey into my Coke without my knowledge. So with every drink I took, the alcohol ratio grew more concentrated; and in a short time span, I passed out stone cold from alcohol poisoning.

I remember waking up once that night hanging over the toilet seat, throwing up everything I’d put into my stomach, then passed out again.

The next thing I knew, I woke up in a different room with that particular “friend” in the act of raping me.

Chapter 10: The Only Way Out

If only I would have stayed sober. If only the “supervising” adult had not purchased the alcohol for us. If only I would have learned how to say no. But, I didn’t know I was in danger … did not even see it coming.

While we’re on the subject—in case anyone out there is wondering—passed out means no! Drunk or drugged means no! Crying means no. Turning away means no. Pushing means no. “Stop” means no. “Get off” means no.

“No” means no!

After all that had happened, I could not shake the shame. Suicide seemed the only way out. But having been to the funeral of a friend who had committed suicide, I saw the impact it left on the girl’s family and our community, and knew I could cause that kind of pain to the other people in my life. There had already been enough death.

One Saturday morning while cleaning my room, I ran across my childhood bookmark from Isaiah 40:8, “The grass withers and the flowers fade, but the word of our God stands forever” (New Living Translation).

I still did not know what else the Bible said, but it meant everything to me that the Word of God would always be there. I found tremendous comfort in that verse and thought about it all the time. The “Jesus Loves Me” song played repeatedly in my head like a broken record—but I still felt like an enormous hypocrite.

Chapter 12: The Hardest Thing

Understanding that God could love me no matter what I’d done started to make sense the more time I spent getting to know Him. I finally allowed myself to receive His unfathomable pardon for my crime. My debt had been paid through the work Christ did on the cross. How could I not forgive those who’d hurt me, when God was forgiving me?

John 3:17 made perfect sense now—“For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved” (KJV).

God was not condemning me! The only condemnation was from perceived judgment that may have or may not have come from those in the church! We never even asked Brock’s parents how they’d have responded to the news if we’d decided to keep the baby! Would I have been locked away in the bell tower of the church with the bats? Would I have been excommunicated? Would anyone have tried to send me away to another country?

Why do we torture our own souls with endless questions and perceptions as if they were facts?

After experiencing tremendous pain, shame, and guilt, I found great peace in God’s Word with scriptures like the Amplified Bible translation of Psalm 23:

The Lord is my Shepherd [to feed, guide, and shield me], I shall not lack. He makes me lie down in [fresh, tender] green pastures; He leads me beside the still and restful waters. He refreshes and restores my life (my self); He leads me in the paths of righteousness [uprightness and right standing with Him—not for my earning it, but] for His name’s sake. Yes, though I walk through the [deep, sunless] valley of the shadow of death, I will fear or dread no evil, for You are with me; Your rod [to protect] and Your staff [to guide], they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my [brimming] cup runs over. Surely or only goodness, mercy, and unfailing love shall follow me all the days of my life, and through the length of my days the house of the Lord [and His presence] shall be my dwelling place.

My heart had relished in receiving God’s compassion, and I learned to forgive the “friend” who raped me. But I had had no mercy on myself. The hardest thing was releasing the bloody guilt I had carried on my back for so long.

I heard Reverend Hagin say that morning on the radio words that Jesus had said. Although those words were thousands of years removed from when Jesus spoke them, it seemed like Jesus was standing in front of me, looking me in the eye, and speaking directly to me:

Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light. (Matthew 11:28–30 New King James Version)

I began to see God as a good shepherd, rather than a harsh judge like how I perceived church people to be; and it made me want to get to know what God is really like.

Because I was getting to know Jesus as the “Rock of my Salvation,” I sensed my gyrating emotional free fall beginning to slow down. I began to find a pointed course, and could sense earth beneath my feet again.

Thankfully, God’s love surpasses all of our foolishness; and at the end of the day, He is still waiting right in front of us with outstretched arms and open hands to embrace us with His mercies that are new every morning.

I rested there in His caring Father-like love for me. I at last heaved my final cares over on Him—God, the One who was, and is so willing to set aside my sin and welcome me into His strong arms of mercy and renewal.

The weight lifted. My burden was gone.

Hardly a day has passed that I don’t think about the fact that I have a child in heaven, but the weight of sin is not there anymore. Jesus Christ has set me free.

This article is excerpted from Kristan Gray’s book, No One Could Know. It can be found at kristangray.com, and at most online book retailers in hardback, soft cover, and as an e-book.

What others are saying about No One Could Know:

My chest tightened and my heart hurt as Kristan shared her life experiences—the choices, the consequences, and the salvation. No One Could Know is a book that I will share with my daughter. It is a beautiful work of literature that will facilitate many discussions and, I hope, inspire others to carefully consider their life choices. — U.S. Senator Joni Ernst, Iowa

No One Could Know will drive you to not only reflect on the choices the author made, it will also encompass a motive for you to reflect on the things that you have gone through in your own life. The courage Kristan shows in sharing her heart in this autobiography is truly admirable. As a longtime friend dating back to our childhood, she truly encapsulated the secret, for as close as we were, even I did not know. —Kim Carpenter, Author of the #1 New York Times Bestselling Book, The Vow

No One Could Know is the true, heart-breaking story of love, pregnancy, abortion, guilt, religious cover up, and the power of God’s truth, mercy, forgiveness, and freedom. This is a must read for every student, mom, dad, and Christian leader, as well as those who have experienced the guilt and shame of a past abortion. —Beth Jones, Author and Cofounder of Valley Family Church, Kalamazoo, Michigan

[1] Karen and Richard Carpenter, vocal performance of “Close to You,” written by Hal David and Burt F. Bacharach, released August, 1970, on Close to You.

The Prayer of Frustration by Walker Shurz

The Prayer of Frustration
Walker Schurz

Walker and Haley Schurz are Directors of Rhema Bible Training Center Zambia and have ministered in Southern Africa since 1992. They are both graduates of Oral Roberts University and Rhema Bible Training Center (USA). Pastors Walker and Haley had the privilege to be trained at Rhema by both Pastor Kenneth W. Hagin and his father Kenneth E. Hagin. They have a long and rich heritage of service and leadership.

After ministering and living ten years in South Africa, Walker and Haley have made their home in Lusaka, Zambia since 2004. They also lead Miracle Life Family Church, a growing and vibrant international church of over 3200. They have a deep desire to see believers grow, develop and fulfill their God-given destiny. You can learn more about Walker and Haley’s ministry at www.africaoutreach.net.

Prayer of FrustrationEffective leaders are consumed with a vision about the future that is different from today. Gandhi, Martin Luther King, and Nelson Mandela were all incredibly dissatisfied with the reality that they saw. They all envisioned, articulated and helped lead towards a different ending to the story. A leader has to learn to live in the tension of what is and what should be. Some define frustration as the gap between our expectations and reality.

Leading people towards a God-given destination is inherently frustrating. It seems that God many times chooses the dissatisfied because they see what He sees — things are not OK and they must change. Nehemiah wept when he saw the dilapidated state of Jerusalem’s wall and Jesus was burdened when he saw people with great problems and nowhere to go for help, like sheep without a shepherd. As a leader sets off with others towards the new destination, the road is littered with roadblocks, reluctant travelers and attacks from those who want to stop the journey.

The only way a leader can escape frustration is to stop being a leader. Yet for many, that is simply not an option. Since frustration will be a constant companion on this exciting trek, we must learn what to do with it. Some ignore these feelings while others try to medicate them with sins that provide short-term pleasure and long-term destruction. Leadership frustration can lead to good if we respond the right way. We have a Father who not only gave us a vision, but is our Guide for every step.

Moses was a leader with a great vision and who had great frustration. What he accomplished with God, multiplied by the degree of difficulty surely, puts him in the top ten of Biblical leaders. We can learn much from what he experienced — both the success and the failure.

When Moses saw a fellow Hebrew being oppressed, his response of anger was not wrong, but he chose to take matters in his own hands, not to God. His wrong action cost him years of his life, yet God knew he had found a leader with the seed of dissatisfaction. When God spoke from the burning bush, Moses must have been thrilled to know that God saw, knew and heard about the same sufferings that Moses saw years ago. It was perhaps the chief reason why God chose Moses. They were frustrated about the same thing.

After Moses submitted to his call, after the children of Israel walked on the dry ground of the Red Sea, Moses began to feel the weight of leadership. God consistently kept up his end of the bargain, yet the two million followers assigned to Moses simply did not want to follow. They were stiff-necked. They refused to turn. They have the distinction of being the only group in the Bible singled out four different times in different passages about what not to do. The Bible correctly describes them as idol worshippers, sexual deviants, complainers and those who resisted the very authority that God gave to lead them to a wonderful land. They were the Enron’s of followers — a case study of dysfunction. No wonder Moses was frustrated.

After another bout of complaining and false accusation against Moses in Numbers 20, Moses struck the rock instead of speaking to it. Again, responding to frustration in the wrong way cost him. Israel should have been thankful that at least Moses hit the rock and not the sides of their hard heads. While Moses taught us what to avoid on more than one occasion, Numbers 11 shows us when he got it right. Here we see Moses speaking to God about his frustration instead of taking it out on a rock or an Egyptian.

Numbers 11:10-15 (NLT)
Moses heard all the families standing in the doorways of their tents whining, and the LORD became extremely angry. Moses was also very aggravated. And Moses said to the LORD, “Why are you treating me, your servant, so harshly? Have mercy on me! What did I do to deserve the burden of all these people? Did I give birth to them? Did I bring them into the world? Why did you tell me to carry them in my arms like a mother carries a nursing baby? How can I carry them to the land you swore to give their ancestors? Where am I supposed to get meat for all these people? They keep whining to me, saying, ‘Give us meat to eat!’ I can’t carry all these people by myself! The load is far too heavy! If this is how you intend to treat me, just go ahead and kill me. Do me a favor and spare me this misery!”

Moses was feeling the incredible pain of leading immature people. Again, they had forgotten about the scars on their back and wanted to go back to slavery instead of continuing with God and Moses to their new and better life. This was having toll on Moses. Interestingly, while God was angry at the people for their whining, Moses was angry at God for His assignment. Moses accused God of treating him harshly and giving him an overwhelming burden. While Moses’ pain was real, his analysis of God as the problem was faulty.

He thought that his pain was from God – “if this is how you intend to treat me.” The real source of Moses’ pain was his tendency to do leadership alone. Perhaps Moses isolated because of childhood abandonment issues or that he was mostly talking to sheep during his 40 year career as a shepherd. Moses was corrected by Jethro for the same thing in Exodus 18.

Most of us have a recurring internal issue that affects our leadership. We might not realize what it is, but we are certainly aware of the pain that it brings to our life. The good news is that if we talk to God about it, God will always have answer. He sees, He knows and He loves. As a recovering isolationist myself, I am encouraged and inspired by Moses to do the same thing. Talk to God honestly about what is hurting. As Moses remembered in verse 11, God is merciful and shows mercy towards His children. What is hurting does not have to stay that way.

When Moses prayed, God responded with an answer. He always does.

Numbers 11:16-17 (NLT)
Then the LORD said to Moses, “Gather before me seventy men who are recognized as elders and leaders of Israel. Bring them to the Tabernacle to stand there with you. I will come down and talk to you there. I will take some of the Spirit that is upon you, and I will put the Spirit upon them also. They will bear the burden of the people along with you, so you will not have to carry it alone.

Do not be surprised that God’s answer for your leadership frustration will almost always include others. The Holy Spirit is God on the earth today, yet He does not live a temple or in the clouds. He makes His home in jars of clay – people. God has people that have the grace we need in them. But they have to found, connected to and deployed. Jesus said in Matthew 9 that the problems that people are facing will be helped when more heavenly-assigned workers are sent to meet them in the suffering.

Any leadership assignment that is not shared adequately becomes unbearable. Even though the assignment was unmistakably from God, our techniques and practices may not come from God. We may be doing the right thing the wrong way. Yet, there has to be relief. Going to heaven early or retiring before the finish line is not the answer. Hearing from God about the specific wisdom we need is the answer.

Instead of incorrectly assuming that God is the problem, we can pray out of frustration, yet in faith to God for the solution. Perhaps we should put down the sword and the rod in anger and turn to God in trust.

God has a solution. Perhaps a portion of the assignment you are frustrated with did not come from a burning bush but from a burning ego. Perhaps there are areas of personal dysfunction that make leadership difficult. James and John certainly had to get over some pretty sizable delusions of grandeur before they could become effective and reach their potential.

God says, “Meet with Me again and I will talk to you again.” There will be instruction, wisdom and grace. Many times the solution is different form the last time He spoke, but it will be what you need to hear. You do not have to carry the heavy burden that seems to be crushing you. To paraphrase what David heard from God in Psalm 50, “Call upon me when you are in trouble (or frustration), and I will answer you and you will give me glory.”

How to Make the Right Decisions by Karen Jensen Salisbury

How to Make the Right Decisions
Karen Jensen Salisbury

The following is an excerpt from Karen’s new book “How to Make the Right Decision Every Time: 10 Keys For Finding God’s Direction” (www.KarenSalisburyBooks.com). Karen has been a minister for 30 years and a writer for 40 years – she’s been a pastor’s wife, a senior pastor, an instructor at Rhema Bible Training College, and is currently an itinerant minister.

How to Make the Right Decisions by Karen JensenOver the years I’ve had a lot of people say to me: “I don’t know what to do or which way to turn,” or “I’m so afraid of making the wrong decision,” or “If God would just tell me what to do, I’d do it!”

They are earnest, God-loving people who want to make the right decisions in their life, but they just aren’t sure how to go about it.

Is that you today? Are you facing a decision – a really big one, or even a small one? Are you wondering what direction to take?

We all have decisions to make, every single day. Whatever decision you’re facing, I have some good news: you can make the right decision every time when you have God’s help. And even better news: He wants to help you make every single decision – big and small. He knows exactly the right direction for you to take so that things turn out great for you.

There’s a Plan

You see, God actually wants you to know the right direction for your life even more than you do, because He has a plan and a purpose for you.

When you choose to accept and follow His plan, it will bless not only you, but others. So He needs you to be walking in that plan.

We know this is true because the Bible says so. Jeremiah 29:11 NLT says, “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” The Message Bible says it like this: “I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.”

First of all, that means there is a plan. I’m so thankful for that, aren’t you? And it also means that someone knows what the plan is – God does! I don’t know about you, but if I’m facing a decision and don’t know which way to go, it comforts my heart to realize that God knows the plan.

Secondly, we can see from this verse that it’s a good plan. When you follow His plan, things can turn out way better than you could ever work out for yourself.

The story of the prodigal son in Luke 15 proves this out. It’s the story of a young man who asked his father for his inheritance then went out and spent it all on riotous living. Soon he found himself penniless, feeding someone else’s pigs and barely eking out an existence. One day he thought, “Even my Dad’s servants eat better than this. I’m going to go home, tell him I’ve sinned, that I’m no longer worthy to be called his son, and ask him to just let me be one of his servants.”

That was the young man’s plan. But when he returned home, his father didn’t stick to the script. The Bible says, “The father said to his servants, ‘Bring out the best robe and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand and sandals on his feet.And bring the fatted calf here and kill it, and let us eat and be merry;for this my son was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found” (Luke 15:22-24).

This is such a perfect picture of your Heavenly Father. His plans are way better than yours! He has so much more in store for you than you can even imagine for yourself. The things you plan on your own are never as good as the plans God has for you. So seek and follow His plan.It’s a plan full of goodness and hope for your life. All the more reason to find out from God what the plan is, and turn to Him when making decisions about how to get there.

God Knows the Way

God has always been a guide for His children. It’s who He is – it’s part of His nature to lead us and help us make the right decisions in our lives. He has set it up so that we would ask Him and He would guide, because He always has the best plan in store for us. He wants us to ask for His guidance, and He to guide and direct you – because He knows the way!

We can see this part of His nature in both the Old Testament and the New Testament, where there are countless examples of God helping His children make the right decisions and go in the right direction. He wants to lead you too.

Let’s look first into the Old Testament. It tells us that God parted the Red Sea and led His children safely to the other side (Exodus 14). He led them through the wilderness to the Promised Land (Joshua 22:4). He led them in thousands of victorious battles over their enemies. He never just left them hanging to find their own way, even when they were being disobedient and rebellious – He was always right there to lead them if they asked for His guidance and obeyed Him.

There is scripture after scripture in the Old Testament that show us how much God wants us to go in the right direction and make the right decisions for our lives. In Isaiah 42:16 He says, “I will bring the blind by a way that they knew not; I will lead them in paths that they have not known: I will make darkness light before them, and crooked things straight. These things will I do unto them, and not forsake them.”

When you’re trying to make a decision, you’re blinded to what the future looks like – you can’t see what will happen because you haven’t been this way before, you haven’t taken this path. Your future is shrouded in darkness – you can’t see into it yet. You need Someone to guide you and light the way, and God is the perfect one to do it.

He says there in Isaiah that He will make the darkness light (no one can do that but Him). When it’s light, we can see, can’t we? Then He says that where the road bends and you can’t see ahead, or when things seem to be so twisted up that there isn’t a way to make it through, He’ll make those crooked place straight.

He ends the verse by saying He won’t forsake you. He won’t leave you half way through the journey – He’ll take you all the way through. Believe it!

Psalm 48:14 says, “For this God is our God for ever and ever: he will be our guide even unto death.” Mark it – until you die, God will guide you, direct you, and help you make the right decision. That covers your whole life! There will never be a time that He’s not available to guide you.

That means even if you make a mistake or a wrong decision, He’ll be there to help you out of it. That should help you if you’ve become paralyzed in the midst of making a decision, afraid to fail. You can trust God. He’s big enough to rescue you if you goof up. He said He will always be your guide, until you die.

Even Better

In the New Testament – which is your covenant with God through Jesus Christ – His guidance system for helping you make right decisions gets even better. He has promised to lead and guide us by His own Spirit – who lives right inside us! You are never without this supernatural help to guide you in the right decisions.

John 16:13, “When He, the Spirit of truth, has come (which He has), He will guide you into all truth: for He will not speak on His own authority, but whatever He hears (from God) He will speak; and He will tell you things to come.”

The Amplified Bible says it this way: “But when He, the Spirit of Truth (the Truth-giving Spirit) comes, He will guide you into all the Truth (the whole, full Truth). For He will not speak His own message [on His own authority]; but He will tell whatever He hears [from the Father; He will give the message that has been given to Him], and He will announce and declare to you the things that are to come [that will happen in the future].”

Think about that! The Holy Spirit within you gets directions right from God the Father who knows everything, and then passes that information directly to you. He’ll even clue you into what’s going to happen in your future. Wow. Information like that can really help you make right decisions, can’t it?

This is why our new covenant, bought by the blood of Jesus, is so much better than the old one (Hebrews 8:6). In your covenant, the very Spirit of God lives within you. You have the best guidance system at your disposal 24/7. No human can look into the future – but the Spirit of God can; and then the Bible says He’ll tell you about what is coming up. When you know what’s coming up, you can sure make better decisions.

Romans 8:14 says, “For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are sons (and daughters) of God.” You could swap that around and say it like this without changing the meaning: “The sons and daughters of God are led by the Spirit of God.”

In other words, when you’re a child of God (when you’re born again and Jesus is your savior) you can expect to be led by the Spirit of God. You’re not to be led by anything else. That means He’ll tell you which direction to go when you’re trying to make decisions! Start believing that.

This article is an excerpt from Karen’s new book “How to Make the Right Decision Every Time: 10 Keys For Finding God’s Direction” (www.KarenSalisburyBooks.com).

Character, Calling, and Contribution (Part 1) by Jim Herring

Character, Calling, and Contribution (Part 1)
Jim Herring

Pastor Jim HerringRev. Jim Herring is gifted Bible teacher who ministers God’s Word in a passionate, powerful, and practical way. The focus of Jim’s ministry is to help believer’s overcome the trials of life, walk by faith, and reach their full potential in life.

Jim graduated from Rhema Bible Training Center in Tulsa, Oklahoma specializing in Pastoral ministry. He also holds a Bachelor’s Degree in Church Ministry from Southwestern Assemblies of God University in Texas.

Jim and his lovely wife, Samantha, are the founders and senior Pastors of Abundant Life Family Church in Fort Worth, Texas. They lead a vibrant, thriving, and multi-cultural church in the heart of Texas. Jim and Samantha are also the proud parents of two children, Annabel and Andrew.

Character, Calling, and Contribution We live in a comparison-centered world. People compare: houses, cars, spouses, physical qualities, clothing, and professions. I remember being in high school and comparing who had the coolest tennis shoes. Of course, I fell into the trap and always tried to secure the coolest “kicks” as we called them.

Yes, the world is comparison crazy. However, the church is certainly not exempt from the delusions of the culture. We compare preachers, singers, musicians, programs, facilities, congregational size, suits, dresses, and even jeans (for our contemporary friends).

Paul addressed this very issue in the book of 2 Corinthians.

2 Corinthians 10:12 (NKJV)
For we dare not class ourselves or compare ourselves with those who commend themselves. But they, measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise.

God tells us that it is unwise and foolish to compare. Why? Well, there are not many positive things that emerge from comparison.

  1. If someone has more or better, it can lead to depression or jealousy.
  2. If we have more or better, it can lead to pride.

Rarely does comparing ourselves with others produce anything beneficial. Besides, God does not consider any of those things when evaluating our life. Your possessions do not impress God. Your physical attributes do not impress God. Beauty fades and possessions don’t last forever. However, there are a few things that God is concerned about. What separates people in the eyes of God? What does He use to evaluate our life? There are three major markers and they all start with the letter “C.”

Character   •   Calling   •   Contribution

Character

Character answers the question, “Who am I?” It is glaringly obvious that there are differences in character when people are involved.

We have people who are:

  • Honest or dishonest
  • Humble or prideful
  • Kind or mean
  • Generous or stingy
  • Good or evil
  • Active or passive
  • Bold or timid
  • Compassionate or uncaring
  • Dependable or unreliable
  • Forgiving or unforgiving
  • Grateful or ungrateful
  • Loyal or disloyal
  • Patience or impatient
  • Punctual or tardy
  • Self-controlled or out of control
  • Sincere or artificial
  • Holy or profane
  • Stubborn or teachable

What is Character?

  • Character is who you are when no one is looking.
  • Reputation is what people think about you, character is who you really are.
  • Character is made by what you stand for, reputation is made by what you fall for.

I like something the great D.L. Moody once noted, “Character is what you are in the dark.”

Your character and the development of your character are very important to God. He strongly desires for us to properly reflect His nature and attributes.

Romans 8:29 (NLT)
For God knew his people in advance, and he chose them to become like his Son, so that his Son would be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters.

We were chosen and created to be like Him.

2 Corinthians 3:18 (The Message)
All of us! Nothing between us and God, our faces shining with the brightness of his face. And so we are transfigured much like the Messiah, our lives gradually becoming brighter and more beautiful as God enters our lives and we become like him.

God wants us to become more and more like Him and that occurs as we renew our mind and develop our character.

In addition, to becoming like Christ, character is necessary for use in the Kingdom of God. When the Bible gives instruction on selecting leadership, character is always at the top of the list.

1 Timothy 3:1–7 (NKJV)
This is a faithful saying: If a man desires the position of a bishop, he desires a good work. A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, temperate, sober-minded, of good behavior, hospitable, able to teach; not given to wine, not violent, not greedy for money, but gentle, not quarrelsome, not covetous; one who rules his own house well, having his children in submission with all reverence (for if a man does not know how to rule his own house, how will he take care of the church of God?); not a novice, lest being puffed up with pride he fall into the same condemnation as the devil. Moreover he must have a good testimony among those who are outside, lest he fall into reproach and the snare of the devil.

Often people dismiss the importance and application of this passage because they mistakenly think, “I am not a Bishop, so this does not apply to me.” However, this passage can also be understood to address ALL church leaders. In other words, these are the qualifications of church leadership.

Notice, the Message paraphrase actually reads this way.

1 Timothy 3:1 (The Message)
If anyone wants to provide leadership in the church….

I want to point out something very interesting. In this portion of Scripture, Paul was writing to Timothy regarding selecting leaders to help in the church. What is glaringly missing from these qualifications? Paul said nothing about spiritual gifts, the anointing, charisma, or talent. In fact, out of all the things mentioned, only one or two could be even considered a gift. Everything else Paul spoke of deals with character.

God is very interested in your character and the development of it.

Notice the list again. See how much emphasis God places on character.

  • Blameless – good reputation
  • Husband of one wife – sexual integrity
  • Temperate – self- controlled
  • Sober-minded – clear thinker
  • Good behavior
  • Hospitable
  • Able to teach
  • Not a drunk
  • Not violent
  • Not greedy for money
  • Gentle
  • Not quarrelsome
  • Not covetous
  • A good family leader is present.

Some have titled this list as the “Qualifications for a Bishop.” However, I believe they represent the marks of maturity that EVERY Christian should strive to develop.

Ok, I know God is passionate about my character development. I know I need it. Now for the million dollar question. How do I develop my character?

How Can I Develop My Character?

1. Recognize that we all need character work and be honest with yourself.

I have a good friend that taught me a valuable lesson. “You can’t fix a problem you don’t have.” Until you are willing to admit that an area of your character needs work, it will never improve. Liberation begins with acknowledgement. God’s Word clearly tells us that we must confess our sins before we are forgiven and cleansed (1 John 1:9).

Acknowledgment always precedes transformation.

2. Seek God for areas of your life that need work.

Psalms teaches us a significant prayer that every believer needs to incorporate into their regular prayer life.

Psalm 139:23–24 (NLT)
Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.

David prayed, “Point out anything in me that offends you.” Over the years, I have experienced a few delays in my prayer request for certain things. However, I have discovered that God is very quick to answer this particular prayer. There is no delay or waiting for an answer if we pray this honestly with an open heart. However, I must warn you. Be prepared for the answer. I remember praying this passage one day. “Lord, point out anything in me that I need to work on.” I thought God would share a thing or two I needed to adjust. However, in my heart I heard, “Do you have something to write with?” Unfortunately, I knew God’s list of the things I needed to work on was much longer than my finite mind could comprehend. God does have a sense of humor!

3. Ask those close to you (who love you and know you).

Once I was driving done the road in Fort Worth and I changed lanes. My wife aggressively started speaking in her prayer language because I pulled over and someone was in that lane! Fortunately, I missed them. Here is the point. I looked in the side mirror before I made my move. However, I had a blind spot.

All of us have blind spots in our character. Often we can’t see the beam in our character because we are so focused on the speck in another person’s character. We need an outside (and objective) character appraisal. Here are a couple of tips when utilizing this approach.

  1. Only ask people who love and know you.
  2. Don’t ask a “Yes Man” or “Yes Woman.”
  3. Don’t argue about or resent their thoughts or observations.
  4. Thank them.
  5. Resist the fleshly urge to return the favor.

4. Pray for transformation.

The Bible tells us that there is great power when righteous men and women pray. God is poised and ready to give you wisdom, strength, and power to become more and more like Him.

James 5:16 (NLT)
Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.

Remember, God is a transformation specialist. He is the original Transformer, not Optimus Prime.

5. Ask God for opportunities to start working the new character traits.

Earlier in my marriage, I remember coming to the realization that I was selfish. I acknowledge it and started praying and working on it. I wanted to be generous and more considerate of my wife and children. God began to show me how to do that. One day I was watching ESPN around the time my children head to bed. My wife was tucking them in and praying for them. I was checking out the latest basketball news and suddenly, I felt the Lord ask me a series of questions.

“What are you doing?” I said, “Watching ESPN.”
“What is your wife doing?” “Putting our children to bed and praying with them.”
“Which is more important?” – I was busted! Thankfully, He presented me with the opportunity to be less selfish and better. #seizethemoment

6. What does God’s Word say about the area you need to work on?

When God deals with you about your character, look into the Word to see what it says. His powerful Word will challenge you, change you, help you, and strengthen you!

For instance, greatness does not come through being selfish. It comes through serving others. What does the Word say about that?

Matthew 23:11 (NKJV)
But he who is greatest among you shall be your servant.

We are transformed by the renewing of our mind (Romans 12:2).

7. Thank God for the progress.

When God does a divine work in your life, the right response is praise and thanksgiving. Thank you Lord, for giving me eyes that see! Thank you Lord, for your transforming Word. Thank you Lord, for the power of the Holy Spirit transforming my thinking and character. Thank you for helping me grow and reflect more and more of your character nature, and glory! Thank you, Lord for continuing the good work that you started in me!

Philippians 1:6 (NLT)
And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.

Character matters. It does take work and effort. However, the benefits are awesome. You become more like Him and a better person to know, love, and live with. #letsgrowtogether!

An Excerpt from The Work Book: What We Do Matters to God

In spite of its great significance and importance, work is a word that many people do not want to hear when it comes to Christianity or spiritual things. Christians love words like, “grace,” “free gift,” and “rest.” Those are wonderful words—biblical words—and they all have a vital role in our Christian life. But work, in a positive sense, is also extremely biblical, and it also deserves our attention and study. …read more

Vital Statements

I would love to hear a collection of statements from various pastors. What are the concise statements they have which communicate the vision and purpose of their churches? These would include vision statements, mission statements, listings of core values, etc. I would even like to know the slogans and mottos that churches use. In addition to statements that speak to the entire congregation, I would also like to see any statements or concise lists that churches have just for their leaders or staff, such as lists of expectations, priorities, key principles, etc.

Kidamazoo from Valley Family Church

kidamazoo

Valley Family Church is excited to announce the launch of Kidamazoo Studios – a fun-packed, fast-moving, faith-based kids church curriculum that will revolutionize the way kids church is done! The Kidamazoo Studios Kids Church curriculum is full of the Word of Faith and the Spirit of Faith and is designed with today’s kid culture in mind! Over the last 23 years at VFC, we’ve seen thousands of kids impacted for Jesus. Kidamazoo Studios has been instrumental in helping shape and mold this generation and the next. Now we’re excited to partner with other ministries to help them do the same.

It doesn’t matter if your children’s church is called Faith Kids, Junior Kids, or Kids Alive – you can keep your current kids ministry name and customize logos, handouts, and more to best fit your brand! When you begin using Kidamazoo Studios as your children’s church curriculum, your kids and volunteers will love how customizable, fun, creative, colorful, user-friendly and faith-filled each lesson is designed to be. Our friends at Words of Life Church in Miami, Florida have used the Kidamazoo Studios curriculum for over a year and have loved the flexibility of each lesson!

Curriculum Overview

Each Kidamazoo Studios curriculum unit is designed to ensure elementary-aged kids experience the best 75-minutes of their week. We have created this entire curriculum with the end user in mind – making it affordable & customizable to every ministry’s voice.

  • Content is age appropriate for 1st – 5th graders. Every element, script, video, and resource in Kidamazoo Studios Curriculum is Bible-based, full of the Word & spirit of faith. View highlight reels of available curriculum.
  • No yearly subscription required! Just choose the units that interest you and purchase at your pace.
  • Perfect for weekend and mid-week services, as well as special events like camp meetings, conferences, small groups and more!
  • Curriculum units come with semi-editable graphic packages, scripts, take home papers, and more!
  • Each topic-focused unit of Kidamazoo Studios curriculum contains everything you need to produce four blockbuster services centered around one theme, known as the “Close Up.”

Each curriculum unit is 4 weeks in length and includes the following:

  • 4 Opening & Closing Sketches
  • 4 Drama Episode Scripts
  • 4 Sermons with Object Lesson Scripts
  • 4 Game Ideas
  • 4 “Parent Script” Take Home Papers
  • Semi-Editable Master Art for Close Up, Final Cut, and Memory Verse Graphics

Want to preview a free sample of Kidamazoo Studios curriculum? Click here!

Curriculum Supplements

To fully benefit from the contents of the curriculum, you can add these Encore Items! This one-time purchase includes show roll-in videos, countdown clocks, bucket wars graphic, backdrop artwork and more! Buy this package once and use it over and over with any of the curriculum units. View the Encore Items here.

Become a Kidamazoo Studios Affiliate!

Want to rebrand your entire kids ministry to become a Kidamazoo Studios Affiliate? You can! A one-time purchase of the Affiliate Kit provides you the tools you need to implement everything Kidamazoo Studios offers in your own kids ministry. Included in this valuable kit are: Kidamazoo Studios logo artwork, blueprint and stage elements, roll-in videos, countdown clocks, invite tickets, set backdrops, and more! View all of the Affiliate Kit items here.

Want More?
If your still looking for more, we have a ton of additional Resources to make your kid’s ministry an Oscar worthy experience! Additional resources include, salvation kits, movie posters, birthday kits, extra stage backdrops and more! View Additional Resources here.

Pricing
The following items are available on an a la carte basis:

Curriculum Units
Included in each unit is a month’s worth of topic-focused curriculum, scripts, graphics and more. Each unit is available for digital download for only $99!

Video Supplement
We discovered in utilizing this curriculum in classrooms ranging from 15 kids to 200 kids, that the Video Supplement we offer with most of the units is a critical piece of the puzzle that will help you take your service to the next level. Add 4 weeks of high-quality video-recorded drama episodes and sermons to your package for just $79.

Affiliate Status
This one-time purchase will help you rebrand your kids church to become a Kidamazoo Studios Affiliate! As a premiere special we are offering this for $149.50 (regularly $299)!

Encore Items
Enjoy the benefits of this kit, including show roll-in videos, countdown clocks, backdrop artwork and more! This one-time purchase is only $99, and you can use this over and over with each unit. (As an Affiliate, all of these items are included in your affiliate kit).

Additional Resources
Supplement your services with movie posters, birthday kits and more. From $9 to $59.

Want to know more about Kidamazoo Studios curriculum and see the full spread of resources available? Get a free sample, and find more information at kidamazoostudios.com! We’re excited to partner with you!

Kidamazoo Skit

 

Kidamazoo Stage

How Loyal Is Your Staff? by Marvin Yoder

How Loyal Is Your Staff?
Marvin Yoder

Marvin and his wife, Leah, recently stepped away from their role as founders and pastors of LifePointe Church in Mattoon, Illinois, and LifePointe Church in Arcola, Illinois. Marvin recently re-joined the staff of Rhema Bible Church and Rhema Bible Training Center in Broken Arrow, Oklahoma. Marvin is a graduate of Rhema Bible Training Center. Marvin has a rich ministerial background, having pastored several churches, working in Christian education, and traveling extensively as an itinerant minister. Prior to starting the church in Mattoon, Marvin has authored several books and study guides, including Movin’ On Up and The Traveling Minister’s Handbook. Marvin and Leah have three children, Christina Anne, Nichole Joy, and Audrey Danielle.

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LoyaltyYou’ve all heard of it . . .

  • The music minister did something different than the senior pastor wanted to do in the service.
  • The youth minister subtly twists the senior pastor around his thumb.
  • The associate pastor encourages people in the congregation to look to him instead of pointing them to the senior pastor.
  • A staff person secretly decides to start a church across town (or around the corner) and takes as many people from the congregation as he can with him.

Every leader who has staff working for them has to deal with the issue of loyalty. They can put up with a lot of other things being less than perfect, but loyalty from the staff to the leader is absolutely vital for the success of the leadership and their organization. Cicero said it this way, “Nothing is more noble, more venerable, than loyalty.”1

It is easy to be loyal when things go how a person wants it, or when everyone agrees on something. It is in difficult times, e.g. when a person disagrees with their leader, that loyalty is tested. Loyalty will be proven (or disproven) when a person is passed over for a promotion, has to be corrected or disciplined, or don’t get the assignment they want. Martin Luther stated that, “Where the battle rages, there the loyalty of the soldier is proven.”2

Loyalty Is a High Prize to Have in Staff People

The work of the Lord can abound be in your midst where there is loyalty! There you can also find unity, and God’s blessings come where there is unity (Psalms 133:1-3).

2 Chronicles 16:9, NKJV – For the eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to show Himself strong on behalf of those whose heart is loyal to Him.

More people will come to know the Lord where there is loyal among staff because it enables teamwork, and thus greater results are possible.

1 Kings 8:59-61, NKJV – 59 And may these words of mine, with which I have made supplication before the LORD, be near the LORD our God day and night, that He may maintain the cause of His servant and the cause of His people Israel, as each day may require, 60 that all the peoples of the earth may know that the LORD is God; there is no other. 61 Let your heart therefore be loyal to the LORD our God, to walk in His statutes and keep His commandments, as at this day.”

Let’s face it . . . in today’s digital world of easy access information, there are many people, organizations, and ideas vying for the attention and allegiance of your staff. Information, presentations, organizations, personalities, and superb oratory skills can easily wow your staff into embracing a different direction than your vision for your church. We all know the devil loves to create strife and discord in the church, and the higher up in the church that he can do that, the greater the fallout within the church.

Most leaders have had the unpleasant experience of waking up to discover the disloyal efforts of some staff person threatening to undermine their church, and then had to confront, correct, discipline, and sometimes terminate them. If that has happened to you, you are not alone . . . King David also experienced disloyalty among his people:

2 Samuel 20:1-2, NKJV – 1 And there happened to be there a rebel, whose name was Sheba the son of Bichri, a Benjamite. And he blew a trumpet, and said: “We have no share in David, Nor do we have inheritance in the son of Jesse; Every man to his tents, O Israel!” 2 So every man of Israel deserted David, and followed Sheba the son of Bichri. But the men of Judah, from the Jordan as far as Jerusalem, remained loyal to their king.

Six Signs of Disloyalty in Your Staff

Some leaders stated they were totally surprised that a staff member was being disloyal to them until they had major conflict. However, a leader can often see little clues alerting them of questionable activity in a staff person. Leaders must always try to discern the true reasons why a staff person does things, and should begin by asking questions rather than immediately accusing their staff people of being disloyal. Here are six signs alerting a leader to the beginning stages that a staff person may be disloyal . . .

1. Not completing the educational assignments their leader gives them

It is a leader’s responsibility to help their staff members grow in the same direction as they are going. Educational assignments help your staff to better themselves, grow in the right direction, and give better service to their leaders. When a leader give a book, an article, a CD or DVD, or a link to access online information to their staff, it is not only an opportunity to better themselves but it also tests their loyalty to the leader.

When the staff members complete the assignment that you give them, it shows that they have the same values that you do. If you consider it worthwhile to take the time to give them the information, then it should be worthwhile for them to incorporate that information into their own life.

The wise leader will watch the staff members who do not complete their educational assignments, and watch them in other areas as well. Often when staff members do not complete their educational assignments, they will also disobey the leader in other areas too.

2. Offering no specific information in their reports to their leader

Some personality types naturally tend to speak in generalities and with great exuberance. However, there are also times when staff people will speak only in generalities and great sounding adjectives because they have a certain agenda they want to accomplish. They are trying to gain certain equipment, privileges, positions, etc . . . they are serving themselves rather than their leader.

When you ask them how their ministry event or job is going they respond by saying “Great” or “Awesome” or “It was exciting” or “It was incredible.” That sounds good, but the leader still doesn’t know what actually happened. All you really know is they were excited or they wanted you to be excited about what they are doing.

A leader must learn to ask for facts, numbers, and specific information when a staff person responds like that. For example, when a staff person says they are “packed out” in their department and must have different facilities, a leader must ask questions to find out the circumstances, specific numbers, and frequency for being “packed out” before they respond to that request.

A good way to respond to a staff person who speaks in generalities instead of specifics, and with great sounding adjectives instead of facts, such “It was great!” is to say to them “Please explain what you mean by that.” Insist on specific facts and watch how they respond. Sometimes it’s just a person’s natural response to be excited and use generalities, and at other times a staff person’s agenda causes them to respond like that. In both cases, the leader must train the staff members to give a report containing enough specific information that he knows what actually went on with what they were doing.

3. Being continually cynical or critical of others to their leader

The standard rule of thumb is that if a person is cynical or critical of others to you, they will be cynical and critical of you and your leadership to others. Sometimes people say they are naturally cynical or critical, but the truth is, being critical of others is never a sign of godliness or spiritual maturity. Sometimes it’s simply a sign of insecurity, immaturity, or ignorance and at other times a staff person is using criticism to try to discredit others and promote themselves. They think this will elevate them in position, power, and influence. Sad to say but sometimes this method works . . . temporarily.

A critical person is a poor team member, and because of their outlook they are limited in contributing to the overall good of the team. A critical person is also an incompetent servant, because they are typically looking out for only one person . . . themselves. Finally, a critical person is a blame shifter, and focuses more on job security than on job achievements.

A leader should try to choose staff people who are capable of doing their work and also speak well of other staff people; in other words those who are “. . . giving preference to one another” (Romans 12:10).

4. Gathering people around themselves rather than pointing them to their leader

People will always give accolades and praise to those whom God uses to minister to them. However, a good staff person must learn that the same people who praise you one day may also be the same people who are upset with you the next day.

At times, some staff people have taken the praise of the people the wrong way, and began to inflate their estimate of their role and anointing, and end up drawing people around themselves rather than the pastor. This can begin innocently enough, but left unchecked by the staff person in their mind and emotions, it can lead to a disloyalty, and disloyalty left unchecked can lead to a church split. During this process, these staff people often forget that a position in ministry comes by calling and not by popular vote.

A wise leader will teach their staff people to give the praise to God, continually point the people to the church vision, and encourage people to follow their senior pastor.

5. When competing with other staff people

Staff people who compete with others do not have a true picture of their role. They tend to focus on their own efforts instead of the efforts of the whole team. They have an “I” mentality rather than a “we” mentality, which inhibits them from being a team player.

If these people are successful, it is usually in something they themselves did, or with a team where they could tell the others what to do. Very seldom will these people’s successful efforts be as just one of the members of a team. They may accomplish some great things, but typically do not contribute positively to the team as a whole.

Here are three truths about a staff person who competes with others in ministry:

  • First, they are not wise (2 Cor.10:12) and therefore not ready to be trusted with major responsibilities in the church.
  • Second, they are often insecure and fearful that others may take their place. Therefore their main efforts end up being focused on job security and “what I did.”
  • Third, they often keep the level of team achievement lower than what it could be, and actually prolong the time it takes to accomplish the church vision.

6. Not being consistent in their giving like they once were

There are few things that will enable the leader to measure a person’s value to the church like consistent, faithful giving both in good times and in difficult times. It is not the amount that is really important; it is the consistency in which a person gives. Jesus spoke of when He said, “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also” (Matt. 6:21).

When a staff person’s giving patterns change, it is often an indicator that other things are going on in that person’s life. Again, a leader should not be so concerned about the amount of the staff person’s giving going up or down as much as they should be watchful of erratic giving, especially when it coincides with difficult times in their staff position, or it shows up when they did not get something they wanted, e.g. they didn’t get the promotion, weren’t chosen to do a “desirable task,” or weren’t invited to “be the leader’s right hand person.”

Five Things a Leader Can Do to Avoid Disloyalty in His Staff

Finally it must be noted that a leader can do things to minimize the possibility of having disloyal staff people. John Maxwell said, “The benefit of developing people is loyalty.”3 Here are a few things a leader can do to encourage loyalty and dedication within their staff:

  1. Choose staff people on an established criteria instead of personalities.
  2. Challenge staff people to do their best in various ways, by encouragement, education and exhortation.
  3. Check up on staff people to evaluate, direct, or correct as needed.
  4. Compliment staff people for faithfulness or a job well done.
  5. Cheer the staff people on in accomplishing the vision.

Leaders Must See What Others Don’t See

Leaders must ask God to help them see a person’s heart. The prophet Samuel had to have God’s help to see who to choose as king of Israel, and the Lord told him how He chooses people: “…Do not look at his appearance or at his physical stature, because I have refused him. For the LORD does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart” (1 Samuel 16:7). God chooses a person who may make mistakes but has a right heart, but He does not choose a competent person who has a wrong motives in his heart.

Based upon your insights from Scripture, and from your personal experiences, what suggestions or ideas can you offer to help leaders develop loyalty among their staff?

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1 Cicero. http://www.notable-quotes.com/c/cicero_quotes.html, web. Dec. 16, 2014

2 Luther, Martin. https://www.notable-quotes.com/l/luther_martin.html, web. Dec. 16, 2014

3 Maxwell, John. www.johnmaxwellteam.com/loyalty/, web. Dec. 16, 2014

Testing the Ice by Mark Brazee

Testing the Ice
Mark Brazee

This teaching is an excerpt from The Guide Inside by Mark Brazee. For ordering information, visit www.woctulsa.org or call 1-888-699-3305. For more than 30 years, Mark and Janet Brazee have traveled around the world sharing the power of God’s Word and Spirit in more than 50 nations of the world. Today Mark and Janet pastor World Outreach Church in Tulsa, Oklahoma, where they base their ongoing outreach to the world. The couple also founded DOMATA School of Ministry. The Brazees still travel as the Lord lead as well as raising up a congregation and a student body who share their passion to reach Tulsa and the world.

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Testing the IceGrowing up in Michigan, I learned something about taking careful steps. There are lakes from one end of the state to the other, and much of the year, they are frozen over with ice. There’s even a lake in the middle of my hometown of Howell, and as kids we were excited to play out on the ice-covered lake the minute temperatures hit freezing. Nobody, however, wanted to run out on a frozen lake and fall into the icy water. So those of us who were experienced with the ice would test it a little.

Instead of looking at the lake and thinking, Yup, looks frozen to me!, we would stick out one foot and tap around to see if the ice cracked under the weight. If it did, we quickly pulled back. If it didn’t, we would bring the other foot out on the ice and apply a little more weight. If the ice continued holding us up, we took little steps, then bigger steps until we were walking.

I like to call it testing the ice.

It’s the same as when we walk out God’s will for our lives. Instead of standing on the shore thinking, I’d really love to be out in the middle of God’s will. It sure looks like the plan of God. Maybe I should wait until someone tells me it’s good out there. No, just test the ice.

If you’ve been sitting and waiting with a vision from God stirring in your heart, what should you do? You could sit around a whole lot longer, or you can start taking baby steps toward what you see yourself doing in life and ministry. Don’t run out throwing yourself in the middle of things without preparation. Take small steps, inching your way out to see if the way is solid.

As you move forward, if something doesn’t seem right, stop and go back. You’re either in the wrong place, or it’s the wrong time. But don’t sit around waiting for God to say, “Thou shalt go forth on the lake.” Move toward the lake. Test it. If it is solid, begin moving forward for God.

Go Ye

The late Dr. T.L. Osborn made an interesting statement about how he stepped out in God’s will. Keep in mind this is a man who traveled to more than 100 nations reaching millions of people with the gospel for a half century, and his literature has been published in 132 languages and dialects. Yet, in a meeting at our church I heard him say, “There was no moment when God ‘called’ me to the ministry. I heard the gospel. I heard the Great Commission to go into all the world and preach the gospel. And I went.”

I’m all for praying and waiting on God. I’m all for getting God’s direction. That’s the way I’ve lived my life, and that’s the way I’ve run my ministry. Yet, I know of Bible school graduates who went to school with fire burning in their hearts, then graduated from school and sat around the next 20 or 30 years waiting for more instructions. They began by wanting to do something great for God, but they got sidetracked doing nothing but waiting for vision.

Dr. Osborn simply said, “And I went.” Paul and company said something similar below. Notice how they headed out.

Acts 15:35-36
35 Paul and Barnabas also remained in Antioch, teaching and preaching the word of the Lord, with many others also.
36 Then after some days Paul said to Barnabas, “Let us now go back and visit our brethren in every city where we have preached the word of the Lord, and see how they are doing.”

Do these verses tell us that Paul received a vision from God telling them to go? No. Did an angel appear to Paul? No. Did Paul at least fast and pray and get a strong unction from the Lord to go? No. The truth is Paul walked so closely with God he knew that his desires were lined up with God’s desires, so he had the confidence to walk them out.

Psalm 37:4 says, “Delight yourself also in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.” This verse should speak to all of us. If we live a life of delighting ourselves in the Lord, we ought to have confidence that the desires we have are from God.

So what happened when Paul and company traveled to churches in verse 41?

Acts 15:41
And he went through Syria and Cilicia, strengthening the churches.

Again, the words “and he went” sound a lot like Dr. Osborn saying “and I went.” Paul headed to the nations. He heard the Great Commission, and he got busy. As a result, a lot people were helped, and a lot of lives were changed.

I don’t mean this as a criticism; I say this to help people. But too many Christians with visions and callings and anointings are waiting for God to launch them. They are waiting for God to say, “Go!”

But, folks, God already said “Go!” in Mark 16. In fact, He said “Go ye!”

And He never said stop!

God has never said stop ye or stay ye or ponder ye or wait ye.

God said GO!

Now don’t misunderstand me. What I’m saying is that the steps of a good man are ordered of the Lord (Psalm 37:23), but God cannot order your steps if you aren’t walking.

Have you ever tried to turn a parked car? It doesn’t work. Cars driving down the road are a whole lot easier to turn than parked cars. In the same way, God can turn us in the right direction a lot easier if we’re moving in His plan.

Preaching What We Practice

A number of years ago, I was teaching on being led by the Spirit, and as I was studying one afternoon, the Spirit of God spoke to me and said, “You teach it one way, but you live it another.”

“Lord, I wouldn’t do that,” I said. “That wouldn’t be right.” Then I got to thinking that the Lord wouldn’t say that if it weren’t true. So I began listening to myself more carefully, and I began to understand what He meant.

Of course, we must pray and seek God’s direction, and there are important leadings we must consider. “If you don’t know, don’t go.” “If it’s not quite, it’s not right.” At the same time, we have to balance these truths with action. If we don’t, there will be people who sit around their whole lives waiting for direction.

Here’s the point: Don’t go without direction; go get direction.

There are people all over the world with a call or a gift or a vision, but they don’t do anything with it. It’s not that they’re bad people. It’s because they’ve gotten stuck on this one side of being led by the Holy Ghost. If they could just figure out the other side and balance it out with action, they could test the ice and get moving.

Paul and Company Test the Ice

In Acts 16 we see a practical application of the apostle Paul testing the ice and moving forward while listening at the same time. Actually, for more than 30 years now, I’ve studied the life of Paul a great deal. I admire and respect the man because he finished his course. Peter may have finished his course, but he never told us that. James and John may have finished their courses, but they didn’t tell us that. But before Paul left this earth, he told Timothy he had finished his course (2 Timothy 4:7).

That’s quite an accomplishment when you consider Paul’s course. Looking at 2 Corinthians 11, Paul encountered and endured a lot in the will of God. He was shipwrecked, beaten with rods and beaten with stripes, stoned and left for dead. In spite of it all, he still finished. I determined a long time ago that if Paul could face all those obstacles and finish his course, I should be able to finish my course. I’ve studied his life because if we can find out how he did it, we can do it, too.

There are many things that made Paul a success for God, but let’s focus here on how he kept moving in God’s plan. Within the boundaries of his assignment or call, Paul kept moving forward until God said stop. In doing so, he shared the gospel with the majority of the known world in his day and wrote more than half of the New Testament affecting every Christian from then until now. If only more of us followed God like Paul.

Paul knew His call because he had been told what great things he would suffer, and he knew he was called to minister to Jews, Gentiles and to kings (Acts 9:15-16). That assignment covers a lot of territory. Actually, there isn’t anybody who wouldn’t be included within those boundaries. Still, Paul’s primary calling was to the Gentiles; he was an apostle to the Gentiles.

Another thing I’ve noticed about Paul is that he didn’t do well when he was sitting still and not moving forward. I began to see this when God was dealing with me about teaching one way and walking it out another way. When I thought of Paul in this setting, I realized, I don’t sit still well either. I move forward like Paul did. Maybe we all should.

After all, there are billions upon billions of people on this earth who have never heard the gospel. Nations are opening daily, so there’s too much to do for you or me to do nothing. I don’t believe the Head of the Church is calling anyone to sit and do nothing. Short times of waiting might come along, but they better be short because time is short before Jesus returns.

Of course we need to establish the boundaries of our callings because there are certain things we’re called to do and certain things we’re not called to do. For instance, in my case there would be no use in me trying to be a music director. God already told me I wouldn’t be a youth pastor. But there are certain things I know in my heart I am called to do, so I need to be moving within those boundaries.

I decided to take a closer look at how Paul ran his ministry, and the Holy Ghost took me to Acts 16. The apostles and elders were establishing basic guidelines for the early church and chose Paul and company to take these instructions to the growing number of churches. They had good results, and the churches were strengthened in the faith and increased daily. Then notice how the Holy Ghost began to deal with Paul and company.

Acts 16:6-10
6 Now when they had gone through Phrygia and the region of Galatia, they were forbidden by the Holy Spirit to preach the word in Asia.
7 After they had come to Mysia, they tried to go into Bithynia, but the Spirit did not permit them.
8 So passing by Mysia, they came down to Troas.
9 And a vision appeared to Paul in the night. A man of Macedonia stood and pleaded with him, saying, “Come over to Macedonia and help us.”
10 Now after he had seen the vision, immediately we sought to go to Macedonia, concluding that the Lord had called us to preach the gospel to them.

Paul, Silas and Timothy started to go to Asia, but the Holy Ghost told them not to go there. Then they tried to go to Bithynia, but the Holy Ghost told them no again. I looked at that one day and thought, Paul sure didn’t just sit on a log praying in tongues, waiting for God to tell him to go do something.

Paul kept moving within the boundaries of his call or what he knew to do. He knew every creature needed to hear the gospel, so he got his company together and got moving. Don’t misunderstand me. It’s not wise to take off like a bull in a china shop either.

We should not step out and start walking instead of listening. The whole point is to step out while we’re listening.

We also should not step out doing any old thing or whatever we want to do. And we should not sit around listening for go. No. We should start moving within the boundaries of our call while we’re listening for slow down or no. “Is that scriptural?” Sure it is. That’s exactly how Paul functioned.

Paul on the Move

As I’ve studied the life of Paul, I’ve meditated on Acts 16 so many times. I imagine the scene with Paul and company went something like this. Paul probably said to Silas and Timothy, “Let’s go! Let’s leave our mark on this earth for Jesus Christ. I’ll have plenty of time to sit around when I go to jail.”

I imagine Luke and the other guys asked, “Where do you want to go, Paul?”

“Get out the dictionary. What starts with A?

“Asia.”

“Let’s go!” Paul said, as he and his company head to Asia. They start down the road moving and listening. They decide since God already told them to go into all the world preaching the gospel, they will keep going until they hear no.

As they headed toward Asia, the Holy Ghost forbade them to go there. But how would Paul have known he was forbidden to go unless he headed that direction and was told no? Did the Lord tell him beforehand? No. Look again at verse 6.

Acts 16:6
Now when they had gone through Phrygia and the region of Galatia, they were forbidden by the Holy Spirit to preach the word in Asia.

Paul did not know—nor was he forbidden—by the Holy Ghost to go to Asia until he started heading that direction. Let that soak in for a minute.

As I play this chapter out in my mind, I can almost hear Paul saying, “Let’s go to Asia.” Then somewhere along the way, Paul says, “Sorry! That’s not it.”

The next day Paul says, “We can’t sit around any longer when there’s a whole world waiting for the gospel. Let’s go! If not Asia, then somewhere.”

“Where do you want to go, Paul?”

“We tried the letter A, and that didn’t work. What starts with a B?”

“How about Bithynia?”

Paul and company head to Bithynia listening to the Holy Ghost—moving slowly and listening closely. Then Paul says, “Asia wasn’t right; the Holy Ghost forbid us. Now the Holy Ghost tells us not to go to Bithynia either. Let’s sleep on it.”

While Paul was asleep, a man from Macedonia came to him in a night vision. “Come help us!” the man said. Paul woke up saying, “I’ve got it now. I know where God wants us to go!”

God probably figured since Paul was so determined to go somewhere, He better give him somewhere to go. Paul wasn’t the type of guy to sit around the rest of his life. So God sent a man from Macedonia in a vision, and Paul became the first missionary to Europe. Now if Paul had pushed his way ahead to make something happen and said, “I’m going to Asia no matter what,” he might have found himself in Asia out of God’s plan.

Instead, Paul started moving, and God started directing.

Paul changed the continent of Europe and finished his course with joy. Someone might ask, “How can I move forward testing the ice like Paul?” If you’re being stirred to move to another nation or anywhere else, read about the nation or area. Check out ticket prices. Look up the area on the Internet. Read about the people there. See what the climate is like. Visit the country. Go help another ministry laboring in the harvest fields of that nation.

If you’re being stirred about a new position or job, do some investigating. Move toward it. The more you do, the more you’ll be able to gauge whether or not it feels right down on the inside. If you tell yourself, “I don’t know,” keep praying. Keep listening. Keep taking baby steps. If you sense in your spirit that something doesn’t seem right inside, stop.

Here’s the real truth of the matter. We need to get our assignments from heaven; there’s no doubt about it. Romans 8:14 says, “For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God.” If you’re a born-again believer, the Spirit of God is your guide inside. He’s your inward compass. He’s your guide through every decision you’ll ever make, and God intends that you spend your life following Him. In fact, 99.999% of the time, God leads believers by an inward witness—knowing, pull, drawing, prompt, impression or nudge—in our spirits. So to develop and sensitize our spirits, we need to regularly feed on God’s Word, pray in other tongues and mediate on God’s Word.

Yet, the leading of the Holy Ghost usually is not to sit back waiting for a word from heaven. Most of the time, the leading of the Holy Ghost is to move forward while checking the witness of the Spirit inside to make sure all seems well.

One time a friend of mine made a decision that didn’t seem too smart, but it wasn’t my job to tell him. I’m not the Holy Ghost, and I don’t have all the answers. But I asked him, “Are you absolutely sure you heard right about this move?”

“Definitely!” he said. He had a track record of not listening to anyone, including the Holy Ghost. He sold everything he had and took his money and rented a place in the middle of nowhere to start a business. The problem was he picked a place where there weren’t enough humans to do business in the first place. He lost everything he had, got mad at God and backslid.

If only he had taken baby steps and tested the ice, it would have been so much better for him. Over the years I’ve seen other people step out and recognize, This just isn’t right. I’ve done it hundreds of times myself and recognized, Nope, this isn’t it. Then I’ve headed for home, asking God all the way back, “What’s next? Where are we going now?”

Paul and his company understood what some folks today don’t understand. We don’t need to sit on our launching pads waiting for the fuse to be lit. Jesus Himself lit the fuse 2,000 years ago when He said, “Go…make disciples of all nations…” (Matthew 28:19).

I realize we teach how to follow God from two points of view. On one side we teach if we don’t know, don’t go. If it’s not quite, it’s not right. Those are valid statements. And yet on the other side, what often happens is that some folks are so afraid of doing the wrong thing, they don’t do anything at all. Folks can get so afraid of stepping out and missing God, they spend their lives sitting and missing God.

Holy Ghost Traffic Lights

Over the years I’ve noticed that many Christians sit at some intersection of life waiting for a red light to turn green. Yet, Jesus turned the light green when He was raised from the dead. We’re on green because we have a “go ye.”

If the light changes to red, stop. If the light changes to yellow, proceed with caution. Sometimes a yellow light means you’re going too fast or things aren’t ready for you on the other end. If the light is green, then we should proceed full speed ahead advancing the kingdom.

Perhaps you’ve noticed that traffic lights in most urban areas are actually timed. If you drive the posted speed limit, you don’t even have to stop. Every light will turn green in front of you. If you race ahead or drive too slowly, you will keep hitting red lights.

It’s the same when we follow the plan of God. A lot of times we’re saying, “God, what do I do?” But if we move along at God’s speed, we’ll keep hitting green lights in our spirit. Instead of waiting for red lights in life to turn green, just know that the light already turned green. Instead of sitting until God says go, you ought to go until He says stop. It’s worked for me for more than 35 years.

I believe walking with God this way is how Paul was able to accomplish as much as he did. He was successful because he never stopped and said, “Well…I don’t know what to do next.” He ran his race. He finished his course. He kept the faith. And if we’ll follow the The Guide Inside, we can do the same.

(This teaching is an excerpt from The Guide Inside by Mark Brazee. For ordering information, visit www.woctulsa.org or call 1-888-699-3305.)

The Unity of the Spirit in the Bond of Peace by Lisa Cooke

Truly we have only scratched the surface of all that God has for us, but here we see the Father’s heart for us to have more than all we ask or think. He provides the way to the fullness of Himself through the presence and the power of the Holy Spirit in our lives. …read more

Transformation on the Path to ‘Happily Ever After’ by Denise Renner

Transformation on the Path to ‘Happily Ever After’
Denise Renner

This article was adapted from Denise Renner’s new book Who Stole Cinderella? The Art of ‘Happily Ever After’. To order copies of this title, visit renner.org or call RENNER Ministries toll free at 800-742-5593. Denise Renner is a minister, author, and classically trained vocalist. Alongside her husband Rick Renner, Denise spent more than a decade ministering stateside before they co-founded their international ministry. Together they have proclaimed the Gospel of Jesus Christ throughout the former Soviet Union and around the world for more than 20 years. In addition to serving as senior pastors of the Moscow Good News Church, Rick and Denise are founders of the Riga and Kiev Good News Churches, the Good News Training Center, and the IMPART Pastors Fellowship, through which they assist various pastors and organizations. Denise is also the founder and director of Making a Difference, a ministry that reaches out with God’s love to hurting people in Russia and provides humanitarian outreach to prisons, hospitals, and orphanages. Meanwhile, Denise continues to minister with her remarkably gifted voice in a wide variety of venues — whether on a church platform, on a concert stage, or in the stark, bare room of a women’s prison — bringing the tangible presence of Christ’s burden-destroying anointing each time she sings.

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Who Stole Cinderella?In so many marriages, a wife begins her journey as Cinderella. She glides down the aisle in her beautiful white gown to marry Prince Charming and to become his crowning joy as the wife of his dreams. But in time, Cinderella can find herself knee deep in housework and tasked with changing diapers and refereeing arguing children. She may deal with sickness and setbacks in the family, ailing parents, a husband who works too little or too much, and a number of other challenging circumstances along the way in her “happily ever after.”

Imperfections — in ourselves, in our husbands, and in our circumstances — have the potential to crowd out all those initial wonderful feelings in marriage and replace them with disappointment, disillusionment, and even a negative, critical attitude. Instead of living happily ever after like Cinderella with Prince Charming, we’re not even sure where Cinderella and Prince Charming went! It’s as if our dream was stolen, and we question whether recovering it is worth the pain. Could we be telling ourselves that “happily ever after” is just going to appear without any struggle, problems, or price — or that we’ll simply glide through our journey as easily and gracefully as our walk down the aisle?

There Are No ‘Quick Fixes,’ But You Can Start Now!

It is most likely that the journey to your “happily ever after” will consist of some struggling along the way. Just as a seed planted deep into the soil of the earth must take firm root and then struggle to wind its way upward through the dark, so many of our victories in life are about the process — the journey. Jesus said, “Most assuredly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it produces much grain” (John 12:24). How true this becomes in our lives when we finally make the decision to bear peaceable fruits of righteousness (Hebrews 12:11) where there has been desolation or very little fruit. We come to realize that we must “die” to doing things the same unhealthy way we’ve been doing them.

Those old ways of doing things might include a pattern of trying to control others so we can feel a measure of comfort ourselves. Or it might require us to return our gaze toward Jesus when we’ve looked away and fixed our focus on someone else to help us. As long as these patterns are allowed to influence our lives and our relationships, our brokenness will remain undealt with and unsubmitted to Jesus’ Cross and His resurrection life.

Jesus, the Word of God who was made flesh, was “buried” as a seed for three days — but He rose from the dead, bringing us to new life with Him. Because of His great sacrifice and act of redemption, we can take His Word into our lives and allow Him to bring forth from the darkness something new that never existed before. Whether it’s healing from our brokenness, deliverance from our shame, or freedom to love without fear, God’s Word and His Spirit are powerful to transform our lives — to do in us what we could not possibly do for ourselves.

Life Presents Each of Us With Opportunities To Change

Our journey of growth that leads to a deeply fulfilling relationship with our husband always places Jesus firmly at the center of the marriage. Jesus is our Rock and Fortress (Psalm 18:2) — only Him. When we enter marriage with all our imperfections and insecurities, we have an opportunity to allow God to lead us to a place of security in Jesus rather than try to gain that security from our husband. As wonderful as our husband might be, his shoulders are simply not that big, and our false expectation that he can meet our every need sets us up for undue disappointment.

My opportunity to change presented itself shortly we moved to the former Soviet Union to launch a new phase of our ministry, and I began the struggle of my life with my emotions. Engrossed with everything that comes with embarking on a new assignment from God, Rick quickly poured himself into the work we had come here to do. I was engaged in helping in the ministry and in serving by Rick’s side. But as his responsibilities increased as he worked to lay our ministry’s foundation here, I began to fear that I was losing the place in my husband’s heart that belonged to me as his wife, and I became bitter and resentful. Before I knew it, negative feelings had consumed me. Unforgiveness opened the door to a great deal of fear in my life, including panic attacks at times. I remember thinking to myself, I’m a Christian — this is NOT supposed to be happening to me! After much time spent genuinely seeking God in prayer, I came to the difficult but life-changing realization that, although my emotions were directed toward my husband, I was the source of my own frustration.

God Has a Way of Escape for You

As women, we have great hopes for a marriage that’s always peaceful and happy, but often life brings just the right circumstances that cause us to see in full color some of the ugliness inside us that disrupts that happiness and peace. When we feel vulnerable and become needy toward others, that hidden ugliness floats right up to the surface. Although we want to escape from our issues, if we don’t bring them to God and find His way of escape, they will continue to raise their ugly heads again and again.

Often it’s in our desperation that we discover the truth that our only real means of escape and freedom are found in God — through turning to Him and sincerely seeking His face. James 4:8 says, “Draw near to God and He will draw near to you….” Only when we draw near to God will we find the true security we desire that no person can provide for us, no matter how hard he may try.

The Trap of Isolation in Marriage

Just as a trap designed to catch a wild animal is usually hidden from sight, the traps the enemy sets for us are not always obvious. They often start as one small thought, feeling, or suggestion that can seem very good, right, and reasonable at first, especially if we feel someone has wronged us in some way or that life’s circumstances have been unfair. In times like these, it’s so easy to begin feeling sorry for ourselves — and it’s in those weak moments, the enemy moves in with negative thoughts that serve no other purpose than to keep us stuck in that one place, unable to move forward.

As time passed during our season of new beginnings in the former Soviet Union, I became more and more isolated and withdrawn, and let me tell you: Isolation is a terrible and lonely trap! I felt I had no one to talk to so that I could be encouraged and strengthened while Rick was away doing the work of the ministry. I couldn’t expose the negative parts of my soul —bitterness, resentment, and unforgiveness — because I didn’t want to say anything that might dishonor my husband. So I chose to say nothing at all. I kept my feelings to myself, and I thought about them day in and day out, again and again and again. I was alone, stuck with just me, and I wasn’t very happy.

I didn’t know who I could turn to in my situation. As a pastor’s wife, I knew it wasn’t wise to talk to anyone in our congregation about challenges I was experiencing relating to my husband. And at the time, I couldn’t see that my problem was with me and not Rick — that I was expecting way too much of him. No one could fill my bill of request — only Jesus. But I wasn’t looking to Jesus; I was looking to Rick. And because I was expecting so much of him, I was disappointed with him on a regular basis.

I should have stood beside Rick in a different way than I did to help shoulder the load of those difficult first steps in a brand-new country. But I was ill-prepared emotionally to handle the onslaught of thoughts and feelings that I was constantly barraged with. This huge, new part of our assignment and my own imperfections and insecurities created a “perfect storm” to bring me to a place with the Lord I had never been before. I had to learn to allow Jesus, not Rick, to become my comfort, shelter, and source of help. Before I could reach that place, however, I had to move past the bitterness and unforgiveness I’d allowed to fester in my soul.

Remember, It’s a Process

In every circumstance of life, there has to be an answer — a way of escape — that brings deliverance, and there is (1 Corinthians 10:13). But deliverance doesn’t always come quickly or overnight. Sometimes it takes time to come to a place of understanding with the Holy Spirit’s help that our biggest problems are not the result of what someone else is doing or has done to us. Our biggest problems have to do with us and how we respond to the situations and circumstances of life. We have to be willing to ask, How can I change? In other words, we must ask God for help and then take responsibility to humbly receive and submit to whatever He tells us.

Every married couple should be experiencing an ongoing journey of growth and change. When a man and a woman make a covenant in marriage, the Bible says they “become one flesh” (Ephesians 5:31). The word “become” includes in its meaning the idea of something engaged in an ongoing process. In other words, a husband and wife do not just become “one flesh” the moment they experience physical intimacy together. That physical oneness happens in a short time, but genuine oneness takes a lifetime.

We may not see all the imperfections in ourselves or in our spouse in the beginning of our marriage, but those imperfections will show up in time. Along our journey, we will begin to see the “imperfect,” because life has a way of uncovering the worst in each of us. The question is, what will we do? Will we focus only on what’s imperfect at the expense of our relationship? Will we run away and hide? Will we throw in the towel and forget the words of the covenant we made in our pretty white gown — “…for better or worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish…until death do us part”? Or will we choose to run to the Lord for wisdom and counsel and remain steadfast on the path in our journey?

Perhaps you feel as if you’re in a laboratory with just the right mix of components — your weaknesses, your husband’s weaknesses, disappointment and discouragement — to cause you to believe that your marriage will never change. We all deal with these same components at different times in our lives, although our situations vary. Maybe some of your “laboratory” ingredients are more staggering, such as childhood abuse, and you’ve never dealt with the damaging emotional fallout. My friend, the transforming power of the love of God through His Word and His Spirit can make you whole again. But if your wounded emotions aren’t dealt with and healed, you may find yourself creating something very toxic, volatile, and unhealthy in the laboratory of your life, and it will adversely affect every relationship you have.

However, when we focus on Jesus and give all the components of our brokenness to Him, they become the perfect setup for Him to do His best work in us and in our family. And the best part of those inner workings is the new image of ourselves that we come away with as we are transformed. We begin to see ourselves as God’s precious daughters who are humble, pliable, and yielded to the Holy Spirit as He creates something wonderful in us — a beautiful, teachable spirit that will cause blessing to come to us and our family for a lifetime.

Who Stole Cinderella?

25 Tips for Managing Stress, The Blues, and Grief During the Holidays.

25 Tips for Managing Stress, The Blues, and Grief During the Holidays. 

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25 Holiday Tips