When I went to Bible School, I learned a lot of great things about Scripture and ministry. However, since becoming a pastor, I’m finding out that there are many other skills that are necessary, and I’m trying to get a handle on those. Is there a major skill you’ve had to learn for your personal well-being or in order to lead well? What is that skill, and how are you implementing it to be more effective? Can you describe it in such a way that will help me understand how I can be better equipped to live and to lead in ministry?
Our church has grown, and our one Sunday morning service is getting crowded. I feel like we’re going to start losing people if we don’t start an additional service. We’re praying about what to do, but I’d love to hear from pastors who have added another weekend service. When is the right time to do it? How do I make sure that we’re ready for another service? How do I prepare the people? Are there any pitfalls I need to watch out for, and what do I need to do to make sure that this really benefits our church?
As a church grows it becomes more and more difficult for the pastor himself to make all of the home and hospital visits that need to be made. What are some methods that churches employ to communicate to the people that the pastoral staff truly cares even though the pastor cannot personally make all of the visits that are being required of him?
https://tonycooke.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/09/TCMLogo2022-300x138.png00Tony Cookehttps://tonycooke.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/09/TCMLogo2022-300x138.pngTony Cooke2014-10-15 18:58:392020-10-09 15:52:28More Than the Pastor
We recently became aware that one of our staff members was using a ministry computer to visit pornographic web-sites. What type of accountability systems do other churches and ministries have to help keep their staff members on “the straight and narrow?” What type of guidelines and education do churches provide to help staff members avoid inappropriate moral and sexual behavior, and finally, how do churches deal with it when a staff member or leader has behaved inappropriately in moral and sexual matters (not just on the internet, but also by inappropriate conduct with other individuals)?
Our church really isn’t doing as much for missions as I’d like. What kinds of missions support and missions programs do other churches provide? What do other churches do to reach out to missionaries and their families on a personal level?
What surprises did you encounter during your first years of ministry? Was it what you expected it to be? Did you have any unrealistic expectations prior to entering ministry (or early in ministry) that had to be adjusted and changed to accommodate for reality? What advice would you give to a young minister to help them prepare for the realities of church and ministry?
It’s been difficult for me to balance ministry and marriage. Ministry seems to have so many demands that my marriage has suffered. Can seasoned pastors share some tips with me about what they’ve done to keep their marriages strong and vibrant in the midst of ministry responsibilities?
As the pastor of a fairly young congregation, I’d like to know what practical, proven methods are effective in growing a church. Should we invest in advertising and marketing, and if so what type of marketing is the most effective? What pros and cons have other pastors experienced in this area? Is there a ball-park figure (percentage) of our church budget that we should designate for advertising?
We’re looking to improve how we help couples prepare for marriage. How do other churches help prepare engaged couples? How many times do they meet with them and what topics are covered? What kinds of resources are used (e.g., books, DVDs, classes, inventories, etc.)?
We occasionally have people come to us who have been living together (outside of marriage) and they want us to perform a wedding ceremony for them. What should a pastor do in that kind of situation, and what kind of policies do churches have regarding this?
https://tonycooke.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/09/TCMLogo2022-300x138.png00Tony Cookehttps://tonycooke.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/09/TCMLogo2022-300x138.pngTony Cooke2014-10-15 18:58:222020-10-13 18:54:19Living Together (Outside of Marriage)
I just discovered that one of our highly visible leaders (a volunteer) doesn’t tithe, and hasn’t tithed for some time. Should I speak to the leader about this, or leave it alone? Should I have some type of policy in place regarding tithing for our leaders and workers? For our church employees? How involved should I be in setting policies for this kind of thing, in monitoring it, or should I just leave it between the individuals and God? What do other pastors do in this regard?
What wisdom tips do you have for small (growing) churches that are starting their first building program? What wisdom do you have specifically for the pastor to consider before starting and during the building process?
https://tonycooke.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/09/TCMLogo2022-300x138.png00Tony Cookehttps://tonycooke.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/09/TCMLogo2022-300x138.pngTony Cooke2014-10-15 18:58:172020-10-13 19:11:42Insights for Building
Other than the Bible, what two or three books have influenced your approach to pastoring and leadership the most? Can you share a sentence or two about how each of these books influenced you? What is the key thought you received from each one?
Seven years ago, my wife and I pioneered the church we now pastor. Other ministers tell me that we have made and continue to make good progress, but I thought we’d be further along after seven years of pastoring than we actually are. My wife tells me I just need to be more patient, but I think people should be more proactive doers of the Word than what I’m seeing. If the people who considered us their home church would all attend regularly, serve faithfully, give generously, and invite others consistently, we could be so much further along and be so much more effective than we currently are. I’m thankful for where we are, but I’m also frustrated because I see all kinds of unrealized potential. Am I unrealistic in my expectations? Am I being impatient? If so, how do I handle all of this. I don’t want to “drive” the people, but I want to see them be all that God wants them to be. Help!
How does your church operate through the holidays? What kind of special events, services, or outreaches do you have? Do you typically eliminate certain services to give families more time together? What do you and your family do on a personal level to make the season special and to keep yourself rested?
As a young pastor, I’m in the process of building my staff. I’m deliberating how to fill our next staff position, and am contemplating on whether to hire from inside the church or to look outside. I’d love to get some insights from pastors on the pros and cons of hiring from within or without, and any general guidelines they use in considering and selecting people for staff positions.
As a young pastor, it’s been difficult for me when people leave our church. At times, I’ve taken it very personally when people leave, as though I have failed. In other situations, I’ve found myself getting angry at people when they leave. I don’t want to be crushed or calloused. How can I process these situations spiritually, emotionally, and even logistically when people leave the church. I have to deal with all of this internally, but I also have to continue to lead my staff and rest of the church people through these situations. Can you give me some advice on how to handle “departures” both on a personal level and as a leader?
I am curious how other pastors today are handling financial responsibilities when it comes to guest ministers. Is it the host church’s responsibility to cover all travel expenses in addition to lodging? Do churches generally receive an offering for the guest minister during each service, during certain services, or do they just provide an honorarium? Are expenses taken from the special offerings, or are they taken from the general fund of the church? In the event of conferences, does the church charge a fee for each person attending, or just receive offerings?
As a pastor, what do you experience (practically speaking) that makes your work fulfilling? What contributes to you having a great day? Also, what do you experience (practically speaking) that makes your work frustrating? What contributes to you having a really challenging day?
As a pastor, what do you find to be the most fulfilling part of your ministry? What is the most frustrating thing you experience in ministry? How do you keep the frustrating part(s) from getting you down?
I’ve heard it said that a pastor and his wife should not have friends in the church. We are young in ministry, and are trying to navigate this issue properly. My wife and I are both very social people, and I can’t imagine us being distant and aloof from the people God has called us to serve. However, we do want to avoid any pitfalls in this area. What are the pros and cons in the area of “friends in the church,” and what can other pastors share with us from their experiences?
How does one in a middle management position (associate pastor), foster friendships within the congregation and remain effective in a leadership role with those same people? When relationships develop into friendships it seems to result in a lack of respect (or less effectiveness) when I later have to function as a leader toward them. It seems to be a balancing act that I have not yet mastered. I want to be friendly, but I don’t want to minimize my effectiveness in leadership. What guidelines would you give to a staff minister who is trying to get this area right?
I’ve noticed that many people who begin in ministry do not stay in ministry long-term. If you had a young person from your church who had just finished Bible School and just accepted their first staff ministry position (at your church or somewhere else), what would be three things you would tell them that you think would help them continue in ministry for the long-haul?
https://tonycooke.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/09/TCMLogo2022-300x138.png00Tony Cookehttps://tonycooke.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/09/TCMLogo2022-300x138.pngTony Cooke2014-10-15 18:57:462020-10-14 20:03:45Advice to a Fledgling Minister
Paul not only said that all Scripture is inspired, but that it is, “…profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness” (2 Timothy 3:16). He also told Timothy to, “convince, rebuke, exhort, with all longsuffering and teaching” (2 Timothy 4:2). How does a pastor find the right “blend” in his preaching? I want to be positive, uplifting, and encouraging in my preaching, but I know there are times that serious issues need to be addressed. How do you address negative issues without coming across as harsh or “beating the people up?” What tips would you give a young pastor who wants to preach the whole counsel of God without coming across as condemning?
https://tonycooke.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/09/TCMLogo2022-300x138.png00Tony Cookehttps://tonycooke.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/09/TCMLogo2022-300x138.pngTony Cooke2014-10-15 18:57:432020-10-14 23:56:52Finding the Right Blend
Necessary Skills
/in Pastors' Forum /by Tony CookeWhen I went to Bible School, I learned a lot of great things about Scripture and ministry. However, since becoming a pastor, I’m finding out that there are many other skills that are necessary, and I’m trying to get a handle on those. Is there a major skill you’ve had to learn for your personal well-being or in order to lead well? What is that skill, and how are you implementing it to be more effective? Can you describe it in such a way that will help me understand how I can be better equipped to live and to lead in ministry?
Multiple Services
/in Pastors' Forum /by Tony CookeOur church has grown, and our one Sunday morning service is getting crowded. I feel like we’re going to start losing people if we don’t start an additional service. We’re praying about what to do, but I’d love to hear from pastors who have added another weekend service. When is the right time to do it? How do I make sure that we’re ready for another service? How do I prepare the people? Are there any pitfalls I need to watch out for, and what do I need to do to make sure that this really benefits our church?
More Than the Pastor
/in Pastors' Forum /by Tony CookeAs a church grows it becomes more and more difficult for the pastor himself to make all of the home and hospital visits that need to be made. What are some methods that churches employ to communicate to the people that the pastoral staff truly cares even though the pastor cannot personally make all of the visits that are being required of him?
Moral Accountability
/in Pastors' Forum /by Tony CookeWe recently became aware that one of our staff members was using a ministry computer to visit pornographic web-sites. What type of accountability systems do other churches and ministries have to help keep their staff members on “the straight and narrow?” What type of guidelines and education do churches provide to help staff members avoid inappropriate moral and sexual behavior, and finally, how do churches deal with it when a staff member or leader has behaved inappropriately in moral and sexual matters (not just on the internet, but also by inappropriate conduct with other individuals)?
Missions Support
/in Pastors' Forum /by Tony CookeOur church really isn’t doing as much for missions as I’d like. What kinds of missions support and missions programs do other churches provide? What do other churches do to reach out to missionaries and their families on a personal level?
Ministry Surprises
/in Pastors' Forum /by Tony CookeWhat surprises did you encounter during your first years of ministry? Was it what you expected it to be? Did you have any unrealistic expectations prior to entering ministry (or early in ministry) that had to be adjusted and changed to accommodate for reality? What advice would you give to a young minister to help them prepare for the realities of church and ministry?
Marriage & Ministry
/in Pastors' Forum /by Tony CookeIt’s been difficult for me to balance ministry and marriage. Ministry seems to have so many demands that my marriage has suffered. Can seasoned pastors share some tips with me about what they’ve done to keep their marriages strong and vibrant in the midst of ministry responsibilities?
Marketing and Advertising
/in Pastors' Forum /by Tony CookeAs the pastor of a fairly young congregation, I’d like to know what practical, proven methods are effective in growing a church. Should we invest in advertising and marketing, and if so what type of marketing is the most effective? What pros and cons have other pastors experienced in this area? Is there a ball-park figure (percentage) of our church budget that we should designate for advertising?
Pre-Marital Preparation
/in Pastors' Forum /by Tony CookeWe’re looking to improve how we help couples prepare for marriage. How do other churches help prepare engaged couples? How many times do they meet with them and what topics are covered? What kinds of resources are used (e.g., books, DVDs, classes, inventories, etc.)?
Living Together (Outside of Marriage)
/in Pastors' Forum /by Tony CookeWe occasionally have people come to us who have been living together (outside of marriage) and they want us to perform a wedding ceremony for them. What should a pastor do in that kind of situation, and what kind of policies do churches have regarding this?
Leaders Who Don’t Tithe
/in Pastors' Forum /by Tony CookeI just discovered that one of our highly visible leaders (a volunteer) doesn’t tithe, and hasn’t tithed for some time. Should I speak to the leader about this, or leave it alone? Should I have some type of policy in place regarding tithing for our leaders and workers? For our church employees? How involved should I be in setting policies for this kind of thing, in monitoring it, or should I just leave it between the individuals and God? What do other pastors do in this regard?
Insights for Building
/in Pastors' Forum /by Tony CookeWhat wisdom tips do you have for small (growing) churches that are starting their first building program? What wisdom do you have specifically for the pastor to consider before starting and during the building process?
Most Influential Books
/in Pastors' Forum /by Tony CookeOther than the Bible, what two or three books have influenced your approach to pastoring and leadership the most? Can you share a sentence or two about how each of these books influenced you? What is the key thought you received from each one?
Impatience?
/in Pastors' Forum /by Tony CookeSeven years ago, my wife and I pioneered the church we now pastor. Other ministers tell me that we have made and continue to make good progress, but I thought we’d be further along after seven years of pastoring than we actually are. My wife tells me I just need to be more patient, but I think people should be more proactive doers of the Word than what I’m seeing. If the people who considered us their home church would all attend regularly, serve faithfully, give generously, and invite others consistently, we could be so much further along and be so much more effective than we currently are. I’m thankful for where we are, but I’m also frustrated because I see all kinds of unrealized potential. Am I unrealistic in my expectations? Am I being impatient? If so, how do I handle all of this. I don’t want to “drive” the people, but I want to see them be all that God wants them to be. Help!
Holiday Schedule
/in Pastors' Forum /by Tony CookeHow does your church operate through the holidays? What kind of special events, services, or outreaches do you have? Do you typically eliminate certain services to give families more time together? What do you and your family do on a personal level to make the season special and to keep yourself rested?
Hiring – Inside or Outside
/in Pastors' Forum /by Tony CookeAs a young pastor, I’m in the process of building my staff. I’m deliberating how to fill our next staff position, and am contemplating on whether to hire from inside the church or to look outside. I’d love to get some insights from pastors on the pros and cons of hiring from within or without, and any general guidelines they use in considering and selecting people for staff positions.
Handling an Exodus
/in Pastors' Forum /by Tony CookeAs a young pastor, it’s been difficult for me when people leave our church. At times, I’ve taken it very personally when people leave, as though I have failed. In other situations, I’ve found myself getting angry at people when they leave. I don’t want to be crushed or calloused. How can I process these situations spiritually, emotionally, and even logistically when people leave the church. I have to deal with all of this internally, but I also have to continue to lead my staff and rest of the church people through these situations. Can you give me some advice on how to handle “departures” both on a personal level and as a leader?
Guest Ministry
/in Pastors' Forum /by Tony CookeI am curious how other pastors today are handling financial responsibilities when it comes to guest ministers. Is it the host church’s responsibility to cover all travel expenses in addition to lodging? Do churches generally receive an offering for the guest minister during each service, during certain services, or do they just provide an honorarium? Are expenses taken from the special offerings, or are they taken from the general fund of the church? In the event of conferences, does the church charge a fee for each person attending, or just receive offerings?
Great Traits
/in Pastors' Forum /by Tony CookeWhat are the traits and characteristics you appreciate most in volunteers, workers, and leaders in your church?
Fulfillment and Frustration
/in Pastors' Forum /by Tony CookeAs a pastor, what do you experience (practically speaking) that makes your work fulfilling? What contributes to you having a great day? Also, what do you experience (practically speaking) that makes your work frustrating? What contributes to you having a really challenging day?
Fulfillment and Frustration
/in Pastors' Forum /by Tony CookeAs a pastor, what do you find to be the most fulfilling part of your ministry? What is the most frustrating thing you experience in ministry? How do you keep the frustrating part(s) from getting you down?
Friends
/in Pastors' Forum /by Tony CookeI’ve heard it said that a pastor and his wife should not have friends in the church. We are young in ministry, and are trying to navigate this issue properly. My wife and I are both very social people, and I can’t imagine us being distant and aloof from the people God has called us to serve. However, we do want to avoid any pitfalls in this area. What are the pros and cons in the area of “friends in the church,” and what can other pastors share with us from their experiences?
Friendships vs. Professionalism
/in Pastors' Forum /by Tony CookeHow does one in a middle management position (associate pastor), foster friendships within the congregation and remain effective in a leadership role with those same people? When relationships develop into friendships it seems to result in a lack of respect (or less effectiveness) when I later have to function as a leader toward them. It seems to be a balancing act that I have not yet mastered. I want to be friendly, but I don’t want to minimize my effectiveness in leadership. What guidelines would you give to a staff minister who is trying to get this area right?
Advice to a Fledgling Minister
/in Pastors' Forum /by Tony CookeI’ve noticed that many people who begin in ministry do not stay in ministry long-term. If you had a young person from your church who had just finished Bible School and just accepted their first staff ministry position (at your church or somewhere else), what would be three things you would tell them that you think would help them continue in ministry for the long-haul?
Finding the Right Blend
/in Pastors' Forum /by Tony CookePaul not only said that all Scripture is inspired, but that it is, “…profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness” (2 Timothy 3:16). He also told Timothy to, “convince, rebuke, exhort, with all longsuffering and teaching” (2 Timothy 4:2). How does a pastor find the right “blend” in his preaching? I want to be positive, uplifting, and encouraging in my preaching, but I know there are times that serious issues need to be addressed. How do you address negative issues without coming across as harsh or “beating the people up?” What tips would you give a young pastor who wants to preach the whole counsel of God without coming across as condemning?