Testing the Ice
Mark Brazee

This teaching is an excerpt from The Guide Inside by Mark Brazee. For ordering information, visit www.woctulsa.org or call 1-888-699-3305. For more than 30 years, Mark and Janet Brazee have traveled around the world sharing the power of God’s Word and Spirit in more than 50 nations of the world. Today Mark and Janet pastor World Outreach Church in Tulsa, Oklahoma, where they base their ongoing outreach to the world. The couple also founded DOMATA School of Ministry. The Brazees still travel as the Lord lead as well as raising up a congregation and a student body who share their passion to reach Tulsa and the world.

Growing up in Michigan, I learned something about taking careful steps. There are lakes from one end of the state to the other, and much of the year, they are frozen over with ice. There’s even a lake in the middle of my hometown of Howell, and as kids we were excited to play out on the ice-covered lake the minute temperatures hit freezing. Nobody, however, wanted to run out on a frozen lake and fall into the icy water. So those of us who were experienced with the ice would test it a little.

Instead of looking at the lake and thinking, Yup, looks frozen to me!, we would stick out one foot and tap around to see if the ice cracked under the weight. If it did, we quickly pulled back. If it didn’t, we would bring the other foot out on the ice and apply a little more weight. If the ice continued holding us up, we took little steps, then bigger steps until we were walking.

I like to call it testing the ice.

It’s the same as when we walk out God’s will for our lives. Instead of standing on the shore thinking, I’d really love to be out in the middle of God’s will. It sure looks like the plan of God. Maybe I should wait until someone tells me it’s good out there. No, just test the ice.

If you’ve been sitting and waiting with a vision from God stirring in your heart, what should you do? You could sit around a whole lot longer, or you can start taking baby steps toward what you see yourself doing in life and ministry. Don’t run out throwing yourself in the middle of things without preparation. Take small steps, inching your way out to see if the way is solid.

As you move forward, if something doesn’t seem right, stop and go back. You’re either in the wrong place, or it’s the wrong time. But don’t sit around waiting for God to say, “Thou shalt go forth on the lake.” Move toward the lake. Test it. If it is solid, begin moving forward for God.

Go Ye

The late Dr. T.L. Osborn made an interesting statement about how he stepped out in God’s will. Keep in mind this is a man who traveled to more than 100 nations reaching millions of people with the gospel for a half century, and his literature has been published in 132 languages and dialects. Yet, in a meeting at our church I heard him say, “There was no moment when God ‘called’ me to the ministry. I heard the gospel. I heard the Great Commission to go into all the world and preach the gospel. And I went.”

I’m all for praying and waiting on God. I’m all for getting God’s direction. That’s the way I’ve lived my life, and that’s the way I’ve run my ministry. Yet, I know of Bible school graduates who went to school with fire burning in their hearts, then graduated from school and sat around the next 20 or 30 years waiting for more instructions. They began by wanting to do something great for God, but they got sidetracked doing nothing but waiting for vision.

Dr. Osborn simply said, “And I went.” Paul and company said something similar below. Notice how they headed out.

Acts 15:35-36
35 Paul and Barnabas also remained in Antioch, teaching and preaching the word of the Lord, with many others also.
36 Then after some days Paul said to Barnabas, “Let us now go back and visit our brethren in every city where we have preached the word of the Lord, and see how they are doing.”

Do these verses tell us that Paul received a vision from God telling them to go? No. Did an angel appear to Paul? No. Did Paul at least fast and pray and get a strong unction from the Lord to go? No. The truth is Paul walked so closely with God he knew that his desires were lined up with God’s desires, so he had the confidence to walk them out.

Psalm 37:4 says, “Delight yourself also in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.” This verse should speak to all of us. If we live a life of delighting ourselves in the Lord, we ought to have confidence that the desires we have are from God.

So what happened when Paul and company traveled to churches in verse 41?

Acts 15:41
And he went through Syria and Cilicia, strengthening the churches.

Again, the words “and he went” sound a lot like Dr. Osborn saying “and I went.” Paul headed to the nations. He heard the Great Commission, and he got busy. As a result, a lot people were helped, and a lot of lives were changed.

I don’t mean this as a criticism; I say this to help people. But too many Christians with visions and callings and anointings are waiting for God to launch them. They are waiting for God to say, “Go!”

But, folks, God already said “Go!” in Mark 16. In fact, He said “Go ye!”

And He never said stop!

God has never said stop ye or stay ye or ponder ye or wait ye.

God said GO!

Now don’t misunderstand me. What I’m saying is that the steps of a good man are ordered of the Lord (Psalm 37:23), but God cannot order your steps if you aren’t walking.

Have you ever tried to turn a parked car? It doesn’t work. Cars driving down the road are a whole lot easier to turn than parked cars. In the same way, God can turn us in the right direction a lot easier if we’re moving in His plan.

Preaching What We Practice

A number of years ago, I was teaching on being led by the Spirit, and as I was studying one afternoon, the Spirit of God spoke to me and said, “You teach it one way, but you live it another.”

“Lord, I wouldn’t do that,” I said. “That wouldn’t be right.” Then I got to thinking that the Lord wouldn’t say that if it weren’t true. So I began listening to myself more carefully, and I began to understand what He meant.

Of course, we must pray and seek God’s direction, and there are important leadings we must consider. “If you don’t know, don’t go.” “If it’s not quite, it’s not right.” At the same time, we have to balance these truths with action. If we don’t, there will be people who sit around their whole lives waiting for direction.

Here’s the point: Don’t go without direction; go get direction.

There are people all over the world with a call or a gift or a vision, but they don’t do anything with it. It’s not that they’re bad people. It’s because they’ve gotten stuck on this one side of being led by the Holy Ghost. If they could just figure out the other side and balance it out with action, they could test the ice and get moving.

Paul and Company Test the Ice

In Acts 16 we see a practical application of the apostle Paul testing the ice and moving forward while listening at the same time. Actually, for more than 30 years now, I’ve studied the life of Paul a great deal. I admire and respect the man because he finished his course. Peter may have finished his course, but he never told us that. James and John may have finished their courses, but they didn’t tell us that. But before Paul left this earth, he told Timothy he had finished his course (2 Timothy 4:7).

That’s quite an accomplishment when you consider Paul’s course. Looking at 2 Corinthians 11, Paul encountered and endured a lot in the will of God. He was shipwrecked, beaten with rods and beaten with stripes, stoned and left for dead. In spite of it all, he still finished. I determined a long time ago that if Paul could face all those obstacles and finish his course, I should be able to finish my course. I’ve studied his life because if we can find out how he did it, we can do it, too.

There are many things that made Paul a success for God, but let’s focus here on how he kept moving in God’s plan. Within the boundaries of his assignment or call, Paul kept moving forward until God said stop. In doing so, he shared the gospel with the majority of the known world in his day and wrote more than half of the New Testament affecting every Christian from then until now. If only more of us followed God like Paul.

Paul knew His call because he had been told what great things he would suffer, and he knew he was called to minister to Jews, Gentiles and to kings (Acts 9:15-16). That assignment covers a lot of territory. Actually, there isn’t anybody who wouldn’t be included within those boundaries. Still, Paul’s primary calling was to the Gentiles; he was an apostle to the Gentiles.

Another thing I’ve noticed about Paul is that he didn’t do well when he was sitting still and not moving forward. I began to see this when God was dealing with me about teaching one way and walking it out another way. When I thought of Paul in this setting, I realized, I don’t sit still well either. I move forward like Paul did. Maybe we all should.

After all, there are billions upon billions of people on this earth who have never heard the gospel. Nations are opening daily, so there’s too much to do for you or me to do nothing. I don’t believe the Head of the Church is calling anyone to sit and do nothing. Short times of waiting might come along, but they better be short because time is short before Jesus returns.

Of course we need to establish the boundaries of our callings because there are certain things we’re called to do and certain things we’re not called to do. For instance, in my case there would be no use in me trying to be a music director. God already told me I wouldn’t be a youth pastor. But there are certain things I know in my heart I am called to do, so I need to be moving within those boundaries.

I decided to take a closer look at how Paul ran his ministry, and the Holy Ghost took me to Acts 16. The apostles and elders were establishing basic guidelines for the early church and chose Paul and company to take these instructions to the growing number of churches. They had good results, and the churches were strengthened in the faith and increased daily. Then notice how the Holy Ghost began to deal with Paul and company.

Acts 16:6-10
6 Now when they had gone through Phrygia and the region of Galatia, they were forbidden by the Holy Spirit to preach the word in Asia.
7 After they had come to Mysia, they tried to go into Bithynia, but the Spirit did not permit them.
8 So passing by Mysia, they came down to Troas.
9 And a vision appeared to Paul in the night. A man of Macedonia stood and pleaded with him, saying, “Come over to Macedonia and help us.”
10 Now after he had seen the vision, immediately we sought to go to Macedonia, concluding that the Lord had called us to preach the gospel to them.

Paul, Silas and Timothy started to go to Asia, but the Holy Ghost told them not to go there. Then they tried to go to Bithynia, but the Holy Ghost told them no again. I looked at that one day and thought, Paul sure didn’t just sit on a log praying in tongues, waiting for God to tell him to go do something.

Paul kept moving within the boundaries of his call or what he knew to do. He knew every creature needed to hear the gospel, so he got his company together and got moving. Don’t misunderstand me. It’s not wise to take off like a bull in a china shop either.

We should not step out and start walking instead of listening. The whole point is to step out while we’re listening.

We also should not step out doing any old thing or whatever we want to do. And we should not sit around listening for go. No. We should start moving within the boundaries of our call while we’re listening for slow down or no. “Is that scriptural?” Sure it is. That’s exactly how Paul functioned.

Paul on the Move

As I’ve studied the life of Paul, I’ve meditated on Acts 16 so many times. I imagine the scene with Paul and company went something like this. Paul probably said to Silas and Timothy, “Let’s go! Let’s leave our mark on this earth for Jesus Christ. I’ll have plenty of time to sit around when I go to jail.”

I imagine Luke and the other guys asked, “Where do you want to go, Paul?”

“Get out the dictionary. What starts with A?

“Asia.”

“Let’s go!” Paul said, as he and his company head to Asia. They start down the road moving and listening. They decide since God already told them to go into all the world preaching the gospel, they will keep going until they hear no.

As they headed toward Asia, the Holy Ghost forbade them to go there. But how would Paul have known he was forbidden to go unless he headed that direction and was told no? Did the Lord tell him beforehand? No. Look again at verse 6.

Acts 16:6
Now when they had gone through Phrygia and the region of Galatia, they were forbidden by the Holy Spirit to preach the word in Asia.

Paul did not know—nor was he forbidden—by the Holy Ghost to go to Asia until he started heading that direction. Let that soak in for a minute.

As I play this chapter out in my mind, I can almost hear Paul saying, “Let’s go to Asia.” Then somewhere along the way, Paul says, “Sorry! That’s not it.”

The next day Paul says, “We can’t sit around any longer when there’s a whole world waiting for the gospel. Let’s go! If not Asia, then somewhere.”

“Where do you want to go, Paul?”

“We tried the letter A, and that didn’t work. What starts with a B?”

“How about Bithynia?”

Paul and company head to Bithynia listening to the Holy Ghost—moving slowly and listening closely. Then Paul says, “Asia wasn’t right; the Holy Ghost forbid us. Now the Holy Ghost tells us not to go to Bithynia either. Let’s sleep on it.”

While Paul was asleep, a man from Macedonia came to him in a night vision. “Come help us!” the man said. Paul woke up saying, “I’ve got it now. I know where God wants us to go!”

God probably figured since Paul was so determined to go somewhere, He better give him somewhere to go. Paul wasn’t the type of guy to sit around the rest of his life. So God sent a man from Macedonia in a vision, and Paul became the first missionary to Europe. Now if Paul had pushed his way ahead to make something happen and said, “I’m going to Asia no matter what,” he might have found himself in Asia out of God’s plan.

Instead, Paul started moving, and God started directing.

Paul changed the continent of Europe and finished his course with joy. Someone might ask, “How can I move forward testing the ice like Paul?” If you’re being stirred to move to another nation or anywhere else, read about the nation or area. Check out ticket prices. Look up the area on the Internet. Read about the people there. See what the climate is like. Visit the country. Go help another ministry laboring in the harvest fields of that nation.

If you’re being stirred about a new position or job, do some investigating. Move toward it. The more you do, the more you’ll be able to gauge whether or not it feels right down on the inside. If you tell yourself, “I don’t know,” keep praying. Keep listening. Keep taking baby steps. If you sense in your spirit that something doesn’t seem right inside, stop.

Here’s the real truth of the matter. We need to get our assignments from heaven; there’s no doubt about it. Romans 8:14 says, “For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God.” If you’re a born-again believer, the Spirit of God is your guide inside. He’s your inward compass. He’s your guide through every decision you’ll ever make, and God intends that you spend your life following Him. In fact, 99.999% of the time, God leads believers by an inward witness—knowing, pull, drawing, prompt, impression or nudge—in our spirits. So to develop and sensitize our spirits, we need to regularly feed on God’s Word, pray in other tongues and mediate on God’s Word.

Yet, the leading of the Holy Ghost usually is not to sit back waiting for a word from heaven. Most of the time, the leading of the Holy Ghost is to move forward while checking the witness of the Spirit inside to make sure all seems well.

One time a friend of mine made a decision that didn’t seem too smart, but it wasn’t my job to tell him. I’m not the Holy Ghost, and I don’t have all the answers. But I asked him, “Are you absolutely sure you heard right about this move?”

“Definitely!” he said. He had a track record of not listening to anyone, including the Holy Ghost. He sold everything he had and took his money and rented a place in the middle of nowhere to start a business. The problem was he picked a place where there weren’t enough humans to do business in the first place. He lost everything he had, got mad at God and backslid.

If only he had taken baby steps and tested the ice, it would have been so much better for him. Over the years I’ve seen other people step out and recognize, This just isn’t right. I’ve done it hundreds of times myself and recognized, Nope, this isn’t it. Then I’ve headed for home, asking God all the way back, “What’s next? Where are we going now?”

Paul and his company understood what some folks today don’t understand. We don’t need to sit on our launching pads waiting for the fuse to be lit. Jesus Himself lit the fuse 2,000 years ago when He said, “Go…make disciples of all nations…” (Matthew 28:19).

I realize we teach how to follow God from two points of view. On one side we teach if we don’t know, don’t go. If it’s not quite, it’s not right. Those are valid statements. And yet on the other side, what often happens is that some folks are so afraid of doing the wrong thing, they don’t do anything at all. Folks can get so afraid of stepping out and missing God, they spend their lives sitting and missing God.

Holy Ghost Traffic Lights

Over the years I’ve noticed that many Christians sit at some intersection of life waiting for a red light to turn green. Yet, Jesus turned the light green when He was raised from the dead. We’re on green because we have a “go ye.”

If the light changes to red, stop. If the light changes to yellow, proceed with caution. Sometimes a yellow light means you’re going too fast or things aren’t ready for you on the other end. If the light is green, then we should proceed full speed ahead advancing the kingdom.

Perhaps you’ve noticed that traffic lights in most urban areas are actually timed. If you drive the posted speed limit, you don’t even have to stop. Every light will turn green in front of you. If you race ahead or drive too slowly, you will keep hitting red lights.

It’s the same when we follow the plan of God. A lot of times we’re saying, “God, what do I do?” But if we move along at God’s speed, we’ll keep hitting green lights in our spirit. Instead of waiting for red lights in life to turn green, just know that the light already turned green. Instead of sitting until God says go, you ought to go until He says stop. It’s worked for me for more than 35 years.

I believe walking with God this way is how Paul was able to accomplish as much as he did. He was successful because he never stopped and said, “Well…I don’t know what to do next.” He ran his race. He finished his course. He kept the faith. And if we’ll follow the The Guide Inside, we can do the same.

(This teaching is an excerpt from The Guide Inside by Mark Brazee. For ordering information, visit www.woctulsa.org or call 1-888-699-3305.)

Transformation on the Path to ‘Happily Ever After’
Denise Renner

This article was adapted from Denise Renner’s new book Who Stole Cinderella? The Art of ‘Happily Ever After’. To order copies of this title, visit renner.org or call RENNER Ministries toll free at 800-742-5593. Denise Renner is a minister, author, and classically trained vocalist. Alongside her husband Rick Renner, Denise spent more than a decade ministering stateside before they co-founded their international ministry. Together they have proclaimed the Gospel of Jesus Christ throughout the former Soviet Union and around the world for more than 20 years. In addition to serving as senior pastors of the Moscow Good News Church, Rick and Denise are founders of the Riga and Kiev Good News Churches, the Good News Training Center, and the IMPART Pastors Fellowship, through which they assist various pastors and organizations. Denise is also the founder and director of Making a Difference, a ministry that reaches out with God’s love to hurting people in Russia and provides humanitarian outreach to prisons, hospitals, and orphanages. Meanwhile, Denise continues to minister with her remarkably gifted voice in a wide variety of venues — whether on a church platform, on a concert stage, or in the stark, bare room of a women’s prison — bringing the tangible presence of Christ’s burden-destroying anointing each time she sings.

In so many marriages, a wife begins her journey as Cinderella. She glides down the aisle in her beautiful white gown to marry Prince Charming and to become his crowning joy as the wife of his dreams. But in time, Cinderella can find herself knee deep in housework and tasked with changing diapers and refereeing arguing children. She may deal with sickness and setbacks in the family, ailing parents, a husband who works too little or too much, and a number of other challenging circumstances along the way in her “happily ever after.”

Imperfections — in ourselves, in our husbands, and in our circumstances — have the potential to crowd out all those initial wonderful feelings in marriage and replace them with disappointment, disillusionment, and even a negative, critical attitude. Instead of living happily ever after like Cinderella with Prince Charming, we’re not even sure where Cinderella and Prince Charming went! It’s as if our dream was stolen, and we question whether recovering it is worth the pain. Could we be telling ourselves that “happily ever after” is just going to appear without any struggle, problems, or price — or that we’ll simply glide through our journey as easily and gracefully as our walk down the aisle?

There Are No ‘Quick Fixes,’ But You Can Start Now!

It is most likely that the journey to your “happily ever after” will consist of some struggling along the way. Just as a seed planted deep into the soil of the earth must take firm root and then struggle to wind its way upward through the dark, so many of our victories in life are about the process — the journey. Jesus said, “Most assuredly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it produces much grain” (John 12:24). How true this becomes in our lives when we finally make the decision to bear peaceable fruits of righteousness (Hebrews 12:11) where there has been desolation or very little fruit. We come to realize that we must “die” to doing things the same unhealthy way we’ve been doing them.

Those old ways of doing things might include a pattern of trying to control others so we can feel a measure of comfort ourselves. Or it might require us to return our gaze toward Jesus when we’ve looked away and fixed our focus on someone else to help us. As long as these patterns are allowed to influence our lives and our relationships, our brokenness will remain undealt with and unsubmitted to Jesus’ Cross and His resurrection life.

Jesus, the Word of God who was made flesh, was “buried” as a seed for three days — but He rose from the dead, bringing us to new life with Him. Because of His great sacrifice and act of redemption, we can take His Word into our lives and allow Him to bring forth from the darkness something new that never existed before. Whether it’s healing from our brokenness, deliverance from our shame, or freedom to love without fear, God’s Word and His Spirit are powerful to transform our lives — to do in us what we could not possibly do for ourselves.

Life Presents Each of Us With Opportunities To Change

Our journey of growth that leads to a deeply fulfilling relationship with our husband always places Jesus firmly at the center of the marriage. Jesus is our Rock and Fortress (Psalm 18:2) — only Him. When we enter marriage with all our imperfections and insecurities, we have an opportunity to allow God to lead us to a place of security in Jesus rather than try to gain that security from our husband. As wonderful as our husband might be, his shoulders are simply not that big, and our false expectation that he can meet our every need sets us up for undue disappointment.

My opportunity to change presented itself shortly we moved to the former Soviet Union to launch a new phase of our ministry, and I began the struggle of my life with my emotions. Engrossed with everything that comes with embarking on a new assignment from God, Rick quickly poured himself into the work we had come here to do. I was engaged in helping in the ministry and in serving by Rick’s side. But as his responsibilities increased as he worked to lay our ministry’s foundation here, I began to fear that I was losing the place in my husband’s heart that belonged to me as his wife, and I became bitter and resentful. Before I knew it, negative feelings had consumed me. Unforgiveness opened the door to a great deal of fear in my life, including panic attacks at times. I remember thinking to myself, I’m a Christian — this is NOT supposed to be happening to me! After much time spent genuinely seeking God in prayer, I came to the difficult but life-changing realization that, although my emotions were directed toward my husband, I was the source of my own frustration.

God Has a Way of Escape for You

As women, we have great hopes for a marriage that’s always peaceful and happy, but often life brings just the right circumstances that cause us to see in full color some of the ugliness inside us that disrupts that happiness and peace. When we feel vulnerable and become needy toward others, that hidden ugliness floats right up to the surface. Although we want to escape from our issues, if we don’t bring them to God and find His way of escape, they will continue to raise their ugly heads again and again.

Often it’s in our desperation that we discover the truth that our only real means of escape and freedom are found in God — through turning to Him and sincerely seeking His face. James 4:8 says, “Draw near to God and He will draw near to you….” Only when we draw near to God will we find the true security we desire that no person can provide for us, no matter how hard he may try.

The Trap of Isolation in Marriage

Just as a trap designed to catch a wild animal is usually hidden from sight, the traps the enemy sets for us are not always obvious. They often start as one small thought, feeling, or suggestion that can seem very good, right, and reasonable at first, especially if we feel someone has wronged us in some way or that life’s circumstances have been unfair. In times like these, it’s so easy to begin feeling sorry for ourselves — and it’s in those weak moments, the enemy moves in with negative thoughts that serve no other purpose than to keep us stuck in that one place, unable to move forward.

As time passed during our season of new beginnings in the former Soviet Union, I became more and more isolated and withdrawn, and let me tell you: Isolation is a terrible and lonely trap! I felt I had no one to talk to so that I could be encouraged and strengthened while Rick was away doing the work of the ministry. I couldn’t expose the negative parts of my soul —bitterness, resentment, and unforgiveness — because I didn’t want to say anything that might dishonor my husband. So I chose to say nothing at all. I kept my feelings to myself, and I thought about them day in and day out, again and again and again. I was alone, stuck with just me, and I wasn’t very happy.

I didn’t know who I could turn to in my situation. As a pastor’s wife, I knew it wasn’t wise to talk to anyone in our congregation about challenges I was experiencing relating to my husband. And at the time, I couldn’t see that my problem was with me and not Rick — that I was expecting way too much of him. No one could fill my bill of request — only Jesus. But I wasn’t looking to Jesus; I was looking to Rick. And because I was expecting so much of him, I was disappointed with him on a regular basis.

I should have stood beside Rick in a different way than I did to help shoulder the load of those difficult first steps in a brand-new country. But I was ill-prepared emotionally to handle the onslaught of thoughts and feelings that I was constantly barraged with. This huge, new part of our assignment and my own imperfections and insecurities created a “perfect storm” to bring me to a place with the Lord I had never been before. I had to learn to allow Jesus, not Rick, to become my comfort, shelter, and source of help. Before I could reach that place, however, I had to move past the bitterness and unforgiveness I’d allowed to fester in my soul.

Remember, It’s a Process

In every circumstance of life, there has to be an answer — a way of escape — that brings deliverance, and there is (1 Corinthians 10:13). But deliverance doesn’t always come quickly or overnight. Sometimes it takes time to come to a place of understanding with the Holy Spirit’s help that our biggest problems are not the result of what someone else is doing or has done to us. Our biggest problems have to do with us and how we respond to the situations and circumstances of life. We have to be willing to ask, How can I change? In other words, we must ask God for help and then take responsibility to humbly receive and submit to whatever He tells us.

Every married couple should be experiencing an ongoing journey of growth and change. When a man and a woman make a covenant in marriage, the Bible says they “become one flesh” (Ephesians 5:31). The word “become” includes in its meaning the idea of something engaged in an ongoing process. In other words, a husband and wife do not just become “one flesh” the moment they experience physical intimacy together. That physical oneness happens in a short time, but genuine oneness takes a lifetime.

We may not see all the imperfections in ourselves or in our spouse in the beginning of our marriage, but those imperfections will show up in time. Along our journey, we will begin to see the “imperfect,” because life has a way of uncovering the worst in each of us. The question is, what will we do? Will we focus only on what’s imperfect at the expense of our relationship? Will we run away and hide? Will we throw in the towel and forget the words of the covenant we made in our pretty white gown — “…for better or worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish…until death do us part”? Or will we choose to run to the Lord for wisdom and counsel and remain steadfast on the path in our journey?

Perhaps you feel as if you’re in a laboratory with just the right mix of components — your weaknesses, your husband’s weaknesses, disappointment and discouragement — to cause you to believe that your marriage will never change. We all deal with these same components at different times in our lives, although our situations vary. Maybe some of your “laboratory” ingredients are more staggering, such as childhood abuse, and you’ve never dealt with the damaging emotional fallout. My friend, the transforming power of the love of God through His Word and His Spirit can make you whole again. But if your wounded emotions aren’t dealt with and healed, you may find yourself creating something very toxic, volatile, and unhealthy in the laboratory of your life, and it will adversely affect every relationship you have.

However, when we focus on Jesus and give all the components of our brokenness to Him, they become the perfect setup for Him to do His best work in us and in our family. And the best part of those inner workings is the new image of ourselves that we come away with as we are transformed. We begin to see ourselves as God’s precious daughters who are humble, pliable, and yielded to the Holy Spirit as He creates something wonderful in us — a beautiful, teachable spirit that will cause blessing to come to us and our family for a lifetime.