There was a boy by the name of Steve who was attending school in a western state. Mr. Christianson taught at this particular school. He had an open-door policy and would take in any student that had been thrown out of another class as long as they would abide by his rules. Steve had been kicked out of his sixth period and no other teacher wanted him, so he went into Mr. Christianson’s class. … read more
We do not have a happy report to give. We’ve not been able to find a suitable candidate for this church, though we have one promising prospect still. We do appreciate all the suggestions from the church members, and we’ve followed up each one with interviews or calling at least three references. The following is our confidential report on the present candidates. … read more
A parable is told of a farmer who owned an old mule. The mule fell into the farmer’s well. The farmer heard the mule braying or whatever mules do when they fall into wells. After carefully assessing the situation, the farmer sympathized with the mule but decided that neither the mule nor the well was worth the trouble of saving. Instead, he called his neighbors together, told them what happened, and enlisted them to help haul dirt to bury the old mule in the well and put him out of his misery. … read more
Two little lines I heard one day, Traveling along life’s busy way; bringing conviction to my heart, And from my mind would not depart; only one life, ’twill soon be past, Only what’s done for Christ will last. Only one life, yes only one, Soon will its fleeting hours be done; then, in ‘that day’ my Lord to meet, And stand before His Judgment seat; only one life,’ twill soon be past, Only what’s done for Christ will last. Only one life, the still small voice, Gently pleads for a better choice; bidding me selfish aims to leave, And to God’s holy will to cleave; only one life, ’twill soon be past, only what’s done for Christ will last … read more
You give the loudest person the opportunity to decide what happens at your church. Sharp leaders who are accustomed to serving in organizations with clearly defined plans for future growth won’t stick around your church. That means more ministry for you! You’ll get to hone your debating skills as people argue about what to do next. … read more
An old missionary couple had been working in Africa for years, and they were returning to New York City to retire. They had no pension; their health was broken; they were defeated, discouraged, and afraid. They discovered they were booked on the same ship as President Teddy Roosevelt, who was returning from one of his big-game hunting expeditions. No one paid much attention to them. They watched the fanfare that accompanied the President’s entourage, with passengers trying to catch a glimpse of the great man. … read more
Plan ahead….It wasn’t raining when Noah built the ark. Stay fit….When you’re 600 years old someone might ask you to do something really big. Don’t listen to critics….do what must be done. Build on high ground. For safety’s sake….travel in pairs. Two heads are better than one. Speed isn’t always an advantage….The cheetahs were on board, but then so were the turtles. … read more
I can share your life, but I cannot live it for you. I can teach you things, but I cannot make you learn. I can give you direction, but I cannot always lead you. I can allow you freedom, but I cannot account for it. I can take you to church, but I cannot make you believe. I can teach you right from wrong, but I cannot decide for you. … read more
“When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn’t bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That’s love.” (Rebecca – age 8) “Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.” (Chrissy – age 6) … read more
Senior Pastor is able to leap tall buildings in a single bound, is more powerful than a locomotive, faster than a speeding bullet, can walk on water, and gives policies to God. … read more
A little boy visiting his grandparents was given his first slingshot. He practiced in the woods, but he could never hit his target. As he came back to Grandma’s back yard, he spied her pet duck. On an impulse he took aim and let fly. The stone hit, and the duck fell dead. The boy panicked. Desperately he hid the dead duck in the wood pile, only to look up and see his sister watching. Sally had seen it all, but she said nothing. … read more
Thank you for submitting the resumes of the twelve men you have picked for management positions in your new organization. All of them have now taken a series of tests, and we have not only run the results through our computer, but we have also conducted an in-depth interview with each of them by our staff psychologist and vocational aptitude consultant. The profiles of all tests are included, and you will want to study each of them carefully. … read more
I am writing in response to your request for additional information for my insurance claim. In block number three of the accident claim form I wrote, “trying to do the job alone” as the cause of my accident. You said in your letter that I should explain that statement more fully. I trust the following details will be sufficient. I am a bricklayer by trade. On the date of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six-story building. … read more
Xvxn though this typxrwritxr is an old modxl, it works wxll excxpt for onx kxy. It is trux that thxrx arx 41 kxys that function wxll xnough, but just onx kxy not working makxs thx diffxrxnce. Somxtimxs it sxxms that an organization is somxwhat likx this typxrwritxr, not all thx kxys arx working propxrly.… read more
Funny how a $100 bill “looks” so big when you take it to church, but so small when you take it to the mall. Funny how long it takes to serve God for an hour, but how quickly a team plays 60 min. of basketball. Funny how long a couple of hours spent at church seems, but short they are when watching a movie … read more
The ideal pastor is difficult to find. But if your church is fortunate, you may be able to secure his services. Since he is the ideal pastor, it won’t cost very much – he lives by faith. Yet he can be counted upon to tithe heavily and still be able to afford a large house in which he will regularly entertain the entire congregation. He loves the older folks of the church, visiting them regularly. Besides this, he spends all of his time with the young people.… read more
Once there was an old and very wise man. Every day he would sit outside a gas station in his rocking chair and wait to greet motorists as they passed through his small town. On this day, his granddaughter knelt down at the foot of his chair and slowly passed the time with him. As they sat and watched the people come and go, a tall man who surely had to be a tourist-since they knew everyone in the town-began looking around as if he were checking out the area for a place to live.… read more
“So great is my veneration for the Bible that …the earlier my children begin to read it, the more confident will be my hopes that they will prove useful citizens of their country and respectable members of society. I have for many years made it a practice to read through the Bible once every year.”
– John Quincy Adams … read more
When you rise to your highest and best, I am your Pastor. When you yield to temptation and fall to your lowest, I am your Pastor. When you live in the Spirit and manifest the attitude of a Christian, I am your Pastor. When for a time you sink to the level of the flesh, I am your Pastor. When you walk in the pathway of duty and do God’s will, I am your Pastor. … read more
When things go wrong, as they sometimes will, when the road you’re trudging seems all uphill, when the funds are low and the debts are high, and you want to smile, but you have to sigh, when care is pressing you down a bit, rest, if you must – but don’t you quit. … read more
Deanna was a high school student who worked and studied hard, and usually achieved excellent grades. She had taken “chemistry” as a college requirement, and had applied herself in all of the assignments—but for some reason, wasn’t faring well. It just wasn’t her thing. She flunked the course. No doubt, this was the first for Deanna. It would surely devastate her and her family. … read more
An old man going a lone highway came at the evening cold and gray to a chasm vast and deep and wide. The old man crossed in the twilight dim. The sullen stream had no fears for him; but he turned when safe on the other side and built a bridge to span the tide.… read more
Ever wonder what would happen if we treated our Bible like we treat our cell phone? What if we carried it around in our purses or pockets? What if we flipped through it several time a day? What if we turned back to go get it if we forgot it? What if we used it to receive messages from the text? What if we treated it like we couldn’t live without it?… read more
Many variations of “How to Ride a Dead Horse” have appeared, especially on the internet, and I don’t know who the original author is. We’ve rewritten and adapted this slightly for churches, but every organization (whether it’s business, government, educational institutions, etc.) can have a tendency to hold on to old forms long after their effectiveness has diminished or ceased entirely.… read more
Twas a dangerous cliff, as they freely confessed, though to walk near its crest was so pleasant; but over its terrible edge there had slipped a duke and full many a peasant. So the people said something would have to be done, but their projects did not at all tally; some said, “Put a fence ’round the edge of the cliff,” Some, “An ambulance down in the valley.”… read more
