Tupos: Leading By Example

Tony Cooke

“You teach a little by what you say. You teach most by what you are.”
– Henrietta Mears (1890-1963)

In 1980, when I was 21 years old and was about to begin my second year as a Rhema student, Pastor Beller at Evangelistic Temple asked me to be his assistant. ET had an active membership of around 1,800, and it was a daunting task for me. This church had a rich Pentecostal heritage in Tulsa, and many of the church members had lived through several waves of revival (this was the church that hosted Oral Roberts’ landmark tent revival in 1947).

Not only did that event give Oral nationwide publicity, but it also resulted in large numbers of new members being added to that local church. Realizing that several of the members there had been in a Pentecostal church much longer than I’d been alive, I earnestly asked God to help me be effective in serving that pastor and congregation.

Perhaps the Scripture that spoke most strongly to me was 1 Timothy 4:12, “Let no one despise your youth, but be an example to the believers in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit, in faith, in purity.” I think we all have a basic idea of what it means to be an example, but it wasn’t until many years later that I looked at that specific word, example, in the Greek. It is the word tupos and it can refer to, a mark, an impression left by a blow, a scar, or a stamp. Paul was essentially telling Timothy to leave a mark or to make an impression on the lives of people by his lifestyle.

Tupos is the same word Thomas used when he told the other disciples, “Unless I see the nail marks [tupos, imprint] in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe.” (John 20:25, NIV). Of course, here the word is used of a literal scar, and I’m not saying we should wound or injure others. However, just as the nails left a mark in Jesus’ hands and feet, we are to leave a mark or an impression — positively so — through our “conduct, love, spirit, faith, and purity.”

Sometimes we think of “leaving a mark” (which is one of the meanings of tupos… example) as requiring a momentous event. For example, someone might say, “Michael Jordan left his mark on the game of basketball.” This means that he made a great impact, set a high standard, and through his play, he inspired many others to be better. But being an example and making an impression on someone’s life can sometimes take place through something seemly small.

In thinking back through the people and events that had been an example to me — that had made an impression on my life or marked me — I realized there were many. For example, one of my early childhood memories is that of being in the front yard with my dad. At that time, we lived in a very small town, and a car drove by. My dad waved at them and I asked, “Do you know them.” He didn’t, so I said, “So why did you wave at them?” He responded, “I was just being friendly.”

That seems like such a minor, insignificant moment, but for some reason, that impressed me to the point that I still remember it today. From that time to this, I’ve carried with me the idea that it’s good to be friendly and outgoing to others. That example made a mark on me!

What examples have impacted your life? Maybe there are negative things that you decided to keep from emulating. Perhaps there are positive things you wanted to embody. When Jonathan Edward, America’s great pastor during the Great Awakening, was a mere 19 years old, he wrote 70 Resolutions. These were decisions he made about his character. Here are two of them (paraphrased):

• I resolve not to do something if it would cause me to think less of another person if I saw them doing it.
• If I hear something about another person that is praiseworthy, I resolve to incorporate that trait into my life.

“Example” is a large part of how Paul led.

Philippians 3:17 (NLT)
17 Dear brothers and sisters, pattern your lives after mine, and learn from those who follow our example (tupos).

Many years ago, I heard a minister say, “What my words communicate, my life must validate.”

“Example” is also how Peter instructed leaders to lead.

1 Peter 5:1,3 (NLT)
1 And now, a word to you who are elders in the churches. I, too, am an elder… 3 Don’t lord it over the people assigned to your care, but lead them by your own good example (tupos).

Even the Old Testament stories exist as teaching “examples.”

1 Corinthians 10:6, 11 (NIV)
6 Now these things occurred as examples (tupos) to keep us from setting our hearts on evil things as they did… 11 These things happened to them as examples (tupos) and were written down as warnings for us.

Two ministers were very insightful about the discernment needed to embrace the good in their own example while filtering out the negative.

John Robinson (1576-1625), the pastor of the Pilgrims who came to the American continent on the Mayflower told his people, “I charge you before God that you follow me no further than you have seen me follow the Lord Jesus Christ.” Noted seminary professor, Howard Hendricks (1924-2013) was even more pointed when he said, “When you see me stop following Christ, stop following me.”

Please keep in mind, even good people can set a wrong example, but that doesn’t necessarily make them evil people. Peter, for example, set a bad example that Paul had to address in Galatians 2:11-14. That didn’t make Peter a bad guy, it just means that he erred, and which of us hasn’t made mistakes along the way. I heard one person say, “If I miss being a good example, I’ll endeavor to be a good example in the way I repent.”

May God help all of us embrace this tupos principle! May we be examples in the same way Paul admonished Timothy… by how we speak, by our lifestyle, by our love-walk, by our faith, by our purity.

I want to share a tool with you that you can use for personal evaluation relative to the example you set, or it can be used in a group setting. This tool is available for free at www.tonycooke.org/influencetest.